Learning the Ropes:

I have always hated journaling because I always have so much to tell that I feel overwhelmed by the thought of writing it all out, so I just put it off. By the time I get around to finally writing my thoughts down, it becomes a novel. This has happened recently to me with this blog. I have had a ton of really fascinating (well in my opinion at least) things going on, but no time to tell it all, so I have just given up on telling anything! I do want to get my thoughts out though, just so they are not floating around in my head. Here are some...

Recently I went on vacation (which I may or may not talk about later), which was fun, but I also spent a portion of my spring break doing the ropes course to fulfill a requirement for one of my classes. This was a bit of a painful experience for me, but also enjoyable. The first day I was a bit jet lagged from my trip still and I had a poor attitude because of it, but I am hopeful this did not come across too much in our activities. We were able to climb the rock wall, which is something I love doing anyway, so I had fun. I went home though seeing flashes of swirling lights and felt nauseous, so I told my husband I was having a mini-stroke. He was less than sympathetic and told me I was too young to have a mini-stroke, so I resolved myself to simply laying in front of the television and watching kid movies with my daughter. Saturday I was feeling much more enthusiastic, but I still secretly hate get-to-know-you games, so I was actually happy to get to the 25-foot-tall ropes course.

Initially, we started Saturday morning by walking in and having ribbon handcuffs slapped onto us and intertwined with another person and were told to find our way out without letting the cuffs slip off our wrists. We finally figured out the trick (think small circles for anyone who is ever in this situation) and got out. We then had to figure out how to get eight of us across this small terrain by only using some small tools and three beams of wood. This took awhile and I felt really, really ignored by the team, but I was not alone. Here's the thing: I hate these exercises because the most logical people (I am not saying this is me!) are not always the ones in charge (just like life, right?). I am not saying the people who were leading us in the exercise weren't logical, but what a true leader knows is "the more input the better." Too often leaders don't ask they just do. So after we had gotten across the terrain the facilitator fixed the beams in a way that made our long drawn out process seem silly and inefficient. Oh well.

This is kind of how being in this group of classmates feels to me. I feel invisible and ignored a lot, but I am getting kind of used to this (sadly! ) and I am trying to not take it personally. My self-esteem has definitely been knocked down a few notches since I have started grad school! I was a little bit happy at the end of the day when the facilitator actually pointed this out to the group. She said I was "logical" and that things may have been easier if the group had listened to me. Seriously? I don't think anyone has ever stood up for me like that; even if it did make me want to crawl into a hole from embarrassment. I am sort of glad she acknowledged my feelings because I didn't feel as depressed afterwards! Okay, I will stop whining because I sound like a baby. LOL

Anyway... So the actual ropes course was fun, but a little disheartening. I am not scared of heights in the least, so I was really excited about doing the course; yet, when I got up there I was not as (for lack of better words) as good as I thought I would be! I mean, I am not a trapeze artist, but I thought I would breeze through it, but it turns out I have zero balancing skills, so I found myself kind of nervous about falling and slapping my head against a piece of wood. In my defense, it was pretty windy up there as well. I muddled through though and found myself agreeing at the end to jump off the platform on a giant swing, which was the best part! The swing actually makes you feel as though you will be yanked forward off the platform, but the facilitator told me to jump off to the right. I must admit I asked the facilitator like three times "Are you sure that I just jump off here? Really? You're sure? I won't hit my head?" I was never an expert at physics, but she tried to convince me to jump by telling me that the centrifugal force would actually drive me to the right and then lunge me forward and she was right, so it's all good! ; ) That was seriously fun and I would do that again a million times over. After awhile of watching the second group I also had myself convinced I would do the course again as well!

So all-in-all the experience was a good one and I am glad that I did it. I wish I had been there with my sister though because I know her and I would have had a blast and she would have been a huge support. Plus, she is a crazy daredevil!