Conflict

Man, the last few weeks have been hectic, but I think the worst part of it was the underlying theme of the last month or so of my life: conflict. I have been thinking a lot about the topic and have come up with some thoughts that are obvious, but I have never actually given thought to before. For example, some conflicts fizzle and fade on their own, without any effort on the parts of the parties involved. I am a firm believer in this; especially in regard to people who have work issues. I have this saying "A person can only act for so long until they eventually let their guard down and show their true colors." So, I feel like if you apply for a job you are not qualified for, eventually someone will figure out you don't know what you are doing. Plus, I have noticed those people never stick around for a long time and I think it is because they are afraid of being discovered; although, I am not sure they are conscious of this.

Additionally, some conflicts last a long time, while others have a short time-line. I have had this ongoing conflict at work that has been a sore spot for awhile now. I mean, it's nothing major, but I have been riding it out, hoping it would resolve itself and it has (one week to go!). So, then there is this thing with a team I am on where I feel I just have different views regarding quality and effort than one of my teammates, which is more my deal than hers (she is very nice) because I generally have this same thing with any team I am on (well except my awesome trio with A & J!). I am a firm believer in putting forth my best effort and essentially knocking the socks off of everyone where presentations or assignments are involved; especially where school is concerned because I am paying thirty grand and want to actually get something for my money. So I figure, why not at least make an effort? Plus, speeches are a thorn in my side anyway, so I feel more comfortable giving them when I am confidant in what I am presenting and because I hate watching them, so I try to at least put forth the effort of keeping anyone watching one of my speeches awake. So my aforementioned speech trio liked to extend that courtesy to our audience by trying to be as innovative as possible. I mean, why not? They have to sit through our crappy presentation that we have been forced into giving either way. I just love those Power Points that are all white or white on black with the words running off the page and if there is a picture it is out of focus or doesn't relate to what they are droning on and on about, which is ironic because I am droning on and on now, but hey, when I have to watch more than two in a row of those I start wishing they would at least turn the lights off so I could sleep.

So then I have learned that some conflicts may not involve you, but still have a way of sucking you in and then sucking the life out of you. I have this ongoing conflict in my life that I did not create and it is between two people I know, but somehow I feel sucked into the middle. I think this is one of those never-ending conflicts unless some miracle occurs and one of the people is hanging from a building and needs the other to rescue them, thus causing that other person to be eternally grateful and wiping the slate clean. I wish the one could see the other's side and vice versa, but nope...

Some conflicts are also unavoidable. I was thinking of those factory workers in Chicago that have found themselves caught in a battle between Bank of America and their company. They didn't ask for a conflict, but find the conflict necessary to their survival. I can feel for them because there are only a couple of weeks until the holiday and these individuals found out they are being laid off with no notice. One man has worked there 16 or 17 years!

Anyway, the speech is tonight, so that will bring me one step closer to not feeling so weighted down. That is the other thing I have learned: We all have these little conflicts going on at all times and some are so old that we barely even think about them anymore, but if we gave it some thought we would realize how they are kind of like that Gulliver story, the one about the giant being captured by the little people and tied down by numerous tiny ropes. Sometimes we have fewer ropes than others, but other times we can be overwhelmed by the amount of things weighing us down each day.