Sappy Little Me

I know I have talked about this before, but since my daughter was a baby we have spent many nights dancing together in her room to fun CD's. Well, awhile ago I purchased an 80's music CD with really cheesy music on it (but hey it's fun to dance to!). Anyway, today my daughter and I were dancing away to fun 80's songs like "Footloose" and that song that says something like "Get out of my dreams and into my car" in her room when I had a sappy mom moment. The song that set me off was that Rod Stewart song "Forever Young." I don't know what it is... I have heard that song a million times (and truth be told, I've never much liked it!), but today it just made me so, so sad. We were just dancing, laughing and giggling, when that song came on and my eyes started welling up and the next thing I knew I was looking into my daughter's beautiful blue eyes and my eyes just started leaking tears! My sweet daughter naturally asked what was wrong and then used her sleeve to wipe my tears away. I just told her the song just made me realize how much I love her and this seemed to pacify her (probably because she is used to her overly sentimental mom - extra emphasis on the mental).

I think this started last night when I was driving home from working on a Saturday (I don't normally work weekends), after working 12 hours of overtime this last week. This was the last week of freedom I have before I go back to grad school this week and I was thinking about how I longed to be home relaxing with my daughter, but instead I was working. We spent the morning walking my school's campus, checking out squirrels, and balancing on fountain walls and I didn't want it to end. So on the way home from dinner with my sister and her family in a nearby town, everyone was asleep except me (since I was driving and all!) and I was passing all of these playgrounds along the way. I then started thinking about how there is such little time left where my daughter will want to spend time with me, go to parks with me, and dance with me. Ugh, see, I am tearing up just thinking about it!

So back to the song... It's not completely my fault! I am convinced that song is designed to make parents depressed. I mean lyrics like "May the good lord be with you down every road you roam and may sunshine and happiness surround you when you're far from home" and "And when you finally fly away Ill be hoping that I served you well. For all the wisdom of a lifetime no one can ever tell" are pretty much designed to bring out feelings of guilt and despair aren't they? That dang Rod Stewart! Who does he think he is anyway? The idea of my daughter "Flying away" just brings images to my mind that I never want to think about. I want to see her grow and thrive, but at the same time, I love the age she is now and wish I could just hold her in my arms and cuddle with her during movies on the couch forever and ever too. I know I will learn to love every phase of her life, but this one in particular has just been so fun and special. I hate to think of it being a distant memory someday. So for now I guess I will just enjoy the time we do have and try to annoy her with my endless photo taking until I have every second well documented so when she is "far from home" someday I can pull out those photographs and cherish the good times we spent together. Hopefully there will be more good times and less of me sobbing about her growing up before my very eyes in her room while she stares at me like I am a crazy person.

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Another little side story. My husband's friend was over today and my husband was telling him how she came downstairs and used the new all-in-one remote he just got to turn on his overly complicated television by herself. So I asked her "What did you watch?" and what did she say? "The news." Not just like "Hey, it was the only thing on" but more like "Uh, the news. I mean I had my coffee and croissant, so what else would I watch?" It was just cute, but really hard to explain in just the right way where someone other than her parents would think is funny. Anyway...