Suspicious of Happy People::

I realized today that I suspicious of overly happy people. I was at my work (a hospital) where an older gentleman smiled at me. In a place of employment where it is common to smile or say "Hi" at every individual you pass in the hallway, normally this kind of friendly behavior is nothing to be suspicious of. Even shy and reserved little old me says "Hi" to perfect strangers all day; however, this particular individual did not just smile but hung in there for a longer, lingering smile - staring almost, with a smile plastered on his face. So what do I do? Instantly the insecure and paranoid person in me dashed into the nearby restroom because I was certain that he must have an ulterior motive for smiling. I checked myself in the mirror because I was positive I had chocolate smeared on my face or my zipper was undone, but of course there was nothing wrong with me, well, ascetically anyway. I mean, clearly I have mental issues if a smile could make me this paranoid.

I know it's strange, but I have always been naturally suspicious and cynical. I am not sure why either, except that my father seems a bit cynical and my mother was the type of person who gave a person a reason to be cynical and suspicious of others. After all, my father always said my mom could sell ice to Eskimos (okay, that's probably not the most PC thing to say, but it's true). My father on the other hand, well, he is the kind of person who is suspicious of Democrats because he seems to believe that they have some kind of ulterior motive for wanting "Hope" or "Change." I discovered this recently when I received an anti-Democrat e-mail featuring trick-or-treaters that said the person was going to "Spread the wealth" of candy amongst those who were trick-or-treating and those who were sitting on their butts at home too lazy to leave the house; therefore, one kid called the man a socialist. I think this was the first time I realized that even my father has faults. One of them is that he votes for people who are incapable of speaking in a competent manner in public, but that's another topic...

Anyway... So, I was thinking about this and realized that we (my sister and I) may be to blame for his cynicism and fear of being used. I remembered all the times where my sister or I would congregate in the hallway where one of us would eventually lose out in a batter where we would be forced to take my dad's shoes to him and say something like "Hey dad, you're the best." At which point he would say "What do you want?" We would then convince him he needed to make a trip to the store for ice cream. This tactic always seemed effective though, but not because he fell for our manipulations as much as he has a weakness for ice cream.

So back to the smiling stranger: He was probably a very nice person, but there is just something about someone who pauses outside of an elevator to smile at someone for a longer than reasonable amount of time, but mostly what I realized is that I am the one with the problem; especially considering the man with the smile is long gone and probably hasn't given me a second thought. Although, he may be out there somewhere wondering why the lady at the hospital darted so quickly into the restroom after he looked at her and smiled. Who knows... The point is that I need to try to look at the world with rose colored glasses more often if I am ever going to be one of those eternally blissful people I am always so envious of in my cohort. I think, no I know, my cynicism is getting in the way of that.