Lately...

Since I haven't posted much lately I thought I would just use this opportunity to do a quick recap of what has been going on in my life. I am taking a class right now on performing group-work and one in solution-focused therapy. I got to "play" client a few times now and learned some interesting things about myself that I want to share.

First of all, I was talking to my sister last night about how we were raised with this need to keep big news a secret because we don't want to "jinx" anything. She thinks we learned this from our father because, for example, he bought this fantastic home on the water and didn't tell a soul until the deal was complete and he had one foot in the door. So, with that said, I had this exciting, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity come up for my work recently and I was the same way - I didn't want to tell anyone (well, okay I told me best bud, my sis, and my can't keep a secret to save his life husband who blabbed my surprise to the world practically, but anyway... that's another story!). So a friend at work came up to me and said "I know how you feel, but I sure hope you can get over yourself long enough so you can fully appreciate this moment" which was a red flag to me that I do get so caught up in superstition and worry that I do forget to "get over myself." So that is a new goal of mine, but baby steps because I am still not going to talk about my exciting event, but mostly because I have like zero details at the moment and I would like to wait until things are more concrete.

Second, I have been motivated through a Prochaska book I have been reading to set a bunch of new goals for myself. For example, I learned that my not getting more than 5-6 hours sleep is not totally in my control. I never get off of work on time, I have school (which is in my control), I have all of these errands to do every night, I have a million other things that keep me busy until 11-12 at night; so with that said, a significant part of my problem lies in the fact that (1) I don't get off work on time and (2) I can't ever get my daughter to bed before 9:30. So last night after school I put my foot down (yeah right) and she was asleep by 8:00, which was my new goal. Of course, she is getting over a cold and I had no say in what time she was going to bed because she was exhausted, but what I did learn is that I was able to get much school work more done at an earlier time and thus I was in bed by 10:30. Of course, my new bed time goal is 10:30, which means sleeping, and instead I played with my iPod ordering stuff online until 11:30, but hey, it's a step! Meanwhile, I have developed other goals, such as stop drinking coffee, stop biting my lip when I am nervous, exercise more, and to learn to be more relaxed with clients in sessions. Since I led group this last week, I feel I am at least one step closer to that last goal since I didn't keel over from anxiety. It actually went somewhat okay!

Speaking of which, my group class has been kind of fun actually. We are taking turns leading small groups and because we are new at this whole thing, we get to ask fun questions like "If you could invite five people to dinner, living or dead, who would they be?" It helped that I have a "Book of Questions" to gain some ideas. I love that stuff anyway, so this has been extra fun learning about my classmates. BTW: The Book of Questions is like $6 and it is a blast on road trips because it has you ask questions like "If you could go back in time and change something, but couldn't guarantee things would remain the same, would you?" Or, "Would you accept one million dollars to pull the wings off of a butterfly, would you?" This is a disturbing question that should only be asked of significant others if you are really prepared for any answer you may get. Anyway... I love my particular group as well because they are all super nice. : )

Anything else? Hmmm... Well, we are searching for kindergartens for my daughter and who knew what a project that could be?! Sheesh! One school lets you know in August and asks for a ton of money up front per school that is registered and they make you go in person to each school, all in one day. The other doesn't want you to show up, doesn't charge anything, and lets you register for as many as you want. The third choice had a 19-page application that asked some very intrusive questions. You know they are too intrusive when half the questions they ask you don't even know the answer to (That's a long story)! So, the whole process of choosing "the right" school has been challenging to say the least. I moved around a lot growing up, so I want to find one place for my daughter and keep her there as long as possible, but there is so much to consider: International Baccalaureate schools vs. charter schools, core knowledge vs. public, sports vs. multi cultural curriculum, part-time vs. full-time, base camp, uniforms, location, money, Smart Boards, computer labs, libraries, after school care, after school curriculum, after school arts, ratings on GreatSchools.net, where my daughter's best friend will be going, waiting lists... AGGGHHH! Plus, keep in mind, all of this has to be done a year in advance! I know it sounds silly, but seriously, I went to 12 schools by the time I graduated and none of them felt like home to me because everyone else had a history with one another.

So lastly, on a political note - what the heck is up with that Washington Post cartoon with an ape, regarding the stimulus? Are they for real? You can't tell me that Travis the chimp really has any direct correlation to the stimulus. I mean clearly that is racist and should have never made it past the editor's desk - not in a million years. Then they print an apology, but it was more of an apology a little kid would give to another on the playground after their parent forced them into it. I mean, these are educated and worldly people so they must have, at some point, thought that someone might think they were making a direct reference to the historical racial depiction of apes being similar to African American people, right? So let's see: The artist and the editor saw an ape, violence, and politics all tied into one cartoon and felt that was appropriate for their readers? Really? I think someone needs to recheck the tactfulness filter in their brain. It's just sad.

Okay, enough rambling for now!