Oscar Predictions?

For Oscar night I thought I would talk about Nate Silver. I have been watching Nate Silver on Countdown for awhile now and I am quite impressed by his incredible ability to predict the outcome of almost anything (although he is famous for baseball); especially the results of elections! So I am super curious about how accurate his predictions for the Oscars will be this Sunday! Here's the thing: I couldn't care less about the Oscars and haven't seen like 95% of the movies that are up for awards because I spend most of my time watching movies a five-year-old can watch, but I am actually looking forward to the results simply because of this one man and his incredible statistical analysis skills. So, we'll see!

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Lately...

Since I haven't posted much lately I thought I would just use this opportunity to do a quick recap of what has been going on in my life. I am taking a class right now on performing group-work and one in solution-focused therapy. I got to "play" client a few times now and learned some interesting things about myself that I want to share.

First of all, I was talking to my sister last night about how we were raised with this need to keep big news a secret because we don't want to "jinx" anything. She thinks we learned this from our father because, for example, he bought this fantastic home on the water and didn't tell a soul until the deal was complete and he had one foot in the door. So, with that said, I had this exciting, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity come up for my work recently and I was the same way - I didn't want to tell anyone (well, okay I told me best bud, my sis, and my can't keep a secret to save his life husband who blabbed my surprise to the world practically, but anyway... that's another story!). So a friend at work came up to me and said "I know how you feel, but I sure hope you can get over yourself long enough so you can fully appreciate this moment" which was a red flag to me that I do get so caught up in superstition and worry that I do forget to "get over myself." So that is a new goal of mine, but baby steps because I am still not going to talk about my exciting event, but mostly because I have like zero details at the moment and I would like to wait until things are more concrete.

Second, I have been motivated through a Prochaska book I have been reading to set a bunch of new goals for myself. For example, I learned that my not getting more than 5-6 hours sleep is not totally in my control. I never get off of work on time, I have school (which is in my control), I have all of these errands to do every night, I have a million other things that keep me busy until 11-12 at night; so with that said, a significant part of my problem lies in the fact that (1) I don't get off work on time and (2) I can't ever get my daughter to bed before 9:30. So last night after school I put my foot down (yeah right) and she was asleep by 8:00, which was my new goal. Of course, she is getting over a cold and I had no say in what time she was going to bed because she was exhausted, but what I did learn is that I was able to get much school work more done at an earlier time and thus I was in bed by 10:30. Of course, my new bed time goal is 10:30, which means sleeping, and instead I played with my iPod ordering stuff online until 11:30, but hey, it's a step! Meanwhile, I have developed other goals, such as stop drinking coffee, stop biting my lip when I am nervous, exercise more, and to learn to be more relaxed with clients in sessions. Since I led group this last week, I feel I am at least one step closer to that last goal since I didn't keel over from anxiety. It actually went somewhat okay!

Speaking of which, my group class has been kind of fun actually. We are taking turns leading small groups and because we are new at this whole thing, we get to ask fun questions like "If you could invite five people to dinner, living or dead, who would they be?" It helped that I have a "Book of Questions" to gain some ideas. I love that stuff anyway, so this has been extra fun learning about my classmates. BTW: The Book of Questions is like $6 and it is a blast on road trips because it has you ask questions like "If you could go back in time and change something, but couldn't guarantee things would remain the same, would you?" Or, "Would you accept one million dollars to pull the wings off of a butterfly, would you?" This is a disturbing question that should only be asked of significant others if you are really prepared for any answer you may get. Anyway... I love my particular group as well because they are all super nice. : )

Anything else? Hmmm... Well, we are searching for kindergartens for my daughter and who knew what a project that could be?! Sheesh! One school lets you know in August and asks for a ton of money up front per school that is registered and they make you go in person to each school, all in one day. The other doesn't want you to show up, doesn't charge anything, and lets you register for as many as you want. The third choice had a 19-page application that asked some very intrusive questions. You know they are too intrusive when half the questions they ask you don't even know the answer to (That's a long story)! So, the whole process of choosing "the right" school has been challenging to say the least. I moved around a lot growing up, so I want to find one place for my daughter and keep her there as long as possible, but there is so much to consider: International Baccalaureate schools vs. charter schools, core knowledge vs. public, sports vs. multi cultural curriculum, part-time vs. full-time, base camp, uniforms, location, money, Smart Boards, computer labs, libraries, after school care, after school curriculum, after school arts, ratings on GreatSchools.net, where my daughter's best friend will be going, waiting lists... AGGGHHH! Plus, keep in mind, all of this has to be done a year in advance! I know it sounds silly, but seriously, I went to 12 schools by the time I graduated and none of them felt like home to me because everyone else had a history with one another.

So lastly, on a political note - what the heck is up with that Washington Post cartoon with an ape, regarding the stimulus? Are they for real? You can't tell me that Travis the chimp really has any direct correlation to the stimulus. I mean clearly that is racist and should have never made it past the editor's desk - not in a million years. Then they print an apology, but it was more of an apology a little kid would give to another on the playground after their parent forced them into it. I mean, these are educated and worldly people so they must have, at some point, thought that someone might think they were making a direct reference to the historical racial depiction of apes being similar to African American people, right? So let's see: The artist and the editor saw an ape, violence, and politics all tied into one cartoon and felt that was appropriate for their readers? Really? I think someone needs to recheck the tactfulness filter in their brain. It's just sad.

Okay, enough rambling for now!

Warm Fuzzy Story

Wow, I have been really inattentive to this blog! The thing is... I thought I would have more time this semester because I dropped a class, but I actually seem to have less! I think it's because my Brief Counseling class is so brutal. I mean I love it, but it's a lot of work. For example, I have to read two full-size books in addition to my four other text books for just that class. Then we have journals, article reviews, etc. Anyway, enough whining! ;)

Warm Fuzzy news of the day: I thought for my post I would share some news I heard on the Rachel Maddow show Wednesday (Feb. 18, 2009). Rachel talked about a great moment in high school basketball: Two Wisconsin high schools (DeKalb High School and Madison High School) recently played a game against one another (which is fairly normal stuff of course). The catch of this story comes when one of the players from Madison showed up for a game to play, but he wasn't on the roster because he had lost his mom to cancer that same day so, well, obviously no one expected him to show up. The penalty for someone playing the game without being on the official roster would be two free throws for the other team (DeKalb). The other team decided they did not want the technical fouls, but the ref decided that these must be taken. So what did DeKalb do? They had their player Darius McNeal purposefully botch the shots in order to not get the extra points against Madison. How great is that? See, there are decent people still left in the world!

Article about the game

Just Be Yourself...

I was listening to the Oprah Spirituality podcast and was relieved to hear them discussing what Michael Bernard Beckweth calls the "Friction of fiction." Over the years, the biggest conflicts I have had have been with people who aren't real. No, I'm not talking about imaginary people; I am talking about people who live with a facade around them and who are afraid to let others see the real them.

Previously I had trouble with a coworker who would constantly tell me how great her kids were, how perfect her life was, how fantastic she was every day, but it was insincere. How do I know it was insincere? Well, first of all, people aren't perfect. Anyone dealing with someone like this should just tell themselves that straightaway. Forget their intimidating nature and ways. Set aside your feelings of inadequacy and doubt. Tell yourself "People aren't perfect." I think too, if they were, they probably wouldn't flaunt it like these other people do. After all, there's nothing perfect about boasting about oneself. How else do I know? One day I asked her how her night was and she said "Great!" and then proceeded to break down into tears. See, that's the problem with living like this...eventually you'll snap. As with any person who is living a lie, you can only "act" for so long and then the real you will become transparent. That's what I have to tell myself when I have a boss that can't do the job: "No problem, she will slip up."

Anyway, I think Elizabeth Lesser said it best when she said these people do the rest of the world an injustice because we let people think there is something wrong with them, when in reality imperfection is normal. Elizabeth went on to say something like "It is the most ironic, strange thing that it takes so much courage to be authentic." I love the way her mind works. She is a guru. Besides, how happy can you be when you are not able to be yourself. It sounds like a catch 22 when you are happiest by having the freedom to be miserable, but I believe it's true!

Additionally, I liked the way Michael Bernard Beckweth talked about asking oneself during crises "What is this crisis trying to teach me?" He said that a crisis is a question trying to ask itself." Like "What is the universe or God trying to teach me?" Another thing he said: "We don't solve our problems, we outgrow them." I think this is so true. It's like a child learning to crawl, walk, talk, etc. Those things are no longer issues for them and they move onto new issues. There will always be new issues and when they arrive, the only way we will get through is by asking ourselves what we can learn.

Anyway, I really enjoyed this spirituality podcast and feel I learned a lot from it. Just wanted to share!