Dilemma...

Usually you would hear the word "Party" and think "YAY!" Although, this week, I am not so sure that party always equals "yay." In the last week I have been invited to two different parties that are not my cup of tea; however, the problem is, how do you get out of them? The first one is a work event and is pretty much "required," so... no getting out that one! I mean nothing personal to the people holding it. It's just that the theme is "Country" and anyone who knows me knows that dressing up like a cowgirl is "not really my thing." I mean, putting me in cowboy boots and a cowboy hat is the torture equivalent of shoving me in a tiny box and dropping me in a lake. Although, I will say that I have become much more tolerant of some "Country" type of things living here in the "West" (I have never understood why the Rocky Mountain region is considered "The West" when California would technically be the west wouldn't it? Yet, people in CA never really say things like "Here out west..." Hmm... Oops, I got sidetracked!). For example, I have learned what "mutton busting" is. Albeit I still think it is weird, I do know what it is when people bring it up, which comes up much more than you would think actually. I also like a couple (literally) of country songs, such as that Trace Adkin's song "You're going to miss this," but that's about the extent of the cowgirl in me. I am also not big on party games or "building bridges" type-of-things, since people tend to be pushy and competitive. They make me want to run and hide. That will be an interesting event!

The second party is definitely out, but how can I get out if it? Here's the scoop: So, I live in a pretty "normal" and family friendly neighborhood, well, until recently I thought I did... My "Ned Flanders" nicest neighbor in the world (who mows our lawn for us for free) has a new live-in girlfriend. Since she doesn't work she seems to have plenty of time to soak up the sagas of the other neighbors, and share it all with us, whether or not we care (we're talking affairs, drug use, etc.). I mean, fascinating as this is, at some point isn't this the equivalent of being a Peeping Tom? Plus, ignorance is bliss when it comes to neighbors, isn't it? Anyway, the point is that you feel uncomfortable having a disagreement in your own home for fear of who may be listening in and judging you.

So yesterday she hands me an invitation (that looks like a Pampered Chef type-of-thing) and without even looking at it, I say "Great! Let me check my schedule and get back with you!" Really meaning "Hmm... I'm sure I must have something else going on that day. I hope." Well, I take it inside and show my husband the card. He actually reads it (novel idea) and says "You know what this is don't you?" I say "No, what?" So he read something to the effect of "Slumber party (Not an actual sleep-over): Girls 18 and over only. See items such as flavored gels, body oil, blah, blah, blah..." I stopped listening after "Flavored gels" because I was already thinking of my strategy of getting out of this whole thing. I really am not as prudish as I sometimes come across (okay maybe I am, who knows), but the idea of spending a couple of hours looking at this stuff with my neighbors reminded me of that awkward scene in that Patrick Dempsey movie "Made of Honor" where the grandma mistakes some, uh, intimate items for a necklace. I just don't feel like sharing this kind of information with a neighbor that tells me everyone else's business. I can only imagine what she would do with that kind of Intel on all of the neighbors!

Besides, despite the fact that I am pretty shy in general (which you would never know from the fact that I am blabbing my personal stuff online) I would have to somehow talk a friend into coming with me, since it said "Bring a friend," which sent my mind whirling as to which friend I would be mean enough to subject this situation to (my sister just laughed and said no. LOL). Anyway... wrapping this up... I just don't know what to say to this person to turn her down, without seriously offending her since I still have to live by her. I want to just say "Have you lost your mind?" but that doesn't seem appropriate. My husband says to just go and deal with it. I secretly think he is just hoping I buy some of the stuff they are selling. Okay, so there's my drama for today!