Unsolicited Advice

"Please do not give my parent unsolicited advice." That was on a onsie I saw in a parenting magazine awhile ago and I had forgotten about until my husband reminded me about yesterday. It was like $30 bucks, which at the time seemed like a lot for a onsie; however, people do tend to overwhelm new parents with all kinds of opinions about how to raise their babies, so I guess that is the prime age for a shirt like that. Although, this week in particular, I am learning that no child's age is inappropriate for a shirt like that. In fact, I wish I could remember who sold those so I could buy one right now.

After taking a full week off of work chalked full of all kinds of activities such as pool parties, children's theater, hiking, bowling, sculpture shows, fairs, buffalo ranches, a wide variety of play dates, visiting in-laws, and numerous restaurants, I have been filled with unsolicited parenting advice to my eyeballs. The thing is, whenever you take kids out of their normal routines and fill their days with activities, they tend to be over-stimulated; yet, no one ever seems to relate to this unless it is their own child. Don't get me wrong, I am not excusing bad behavior in a normal setting, but vacations seem to have strange effects on children. Little kids are hyper and they feed off of other peoples' energy; they just do. People tend to wear strange lenses that only see the good in their own children and only the faults of others (myself included here). Also, the more time that passes, the less bad stuff they remember. So they then feel the necessity to tell you all about how to handle your child as though he/she is the beast child in The Exorcist. I am going to try to remember this when my daughter has kids.

So, despite how we feel our own precious angels behave, they are not as perfect as we think and despite what we think, we are not the best parents in the world. For example, I had a woman in the restaurant we ate at in Cheyenne (where the kids sat with nothing to do for two hours while the waitress took her time) tell us "I remember when my kids were young. That's tough having them come to restaurants" in a "why did you bring them here?" kind of tone. Four kids (my sister's and mine), all with different personalities and moods, bored out of their skulls for two hours... I mean, of course they were stir crazy. All of them had different reactions, since just like adults, no two people react the same to any given situation. Even I was yanking at the roots of my hair, ready to start pounding my head on the table. I can only imagine how a kid who finished their meal an hour prior would have felt.

See this is why I prefer my one-on-one outing to the local fair with my daughter opposed to bringing others along. I can avoid the pressure of having others look down their nose when I give in and buy her a heart shaped lollipop and nachos for lunch. I mean, they were out of broccoli at the fair; yet, I just know I would have gotten "the look" from anyone else I brought with me. I prefer the solitude of being with my daughter to hearing yet another "I remember when my kids were young" story, or "I wish my kid would eat junk food, but they seem to only want healthy things" and what else? To read the bible quietly in their room while the other "abnormal" child hellions are tearing the place apart? C'mon...

As tough as my daughter's free-spirited attitude can be sometimes, she is a great kid, but even she has had her moments. Haven't we all though? If we look at kids like we would look at ourselves, have we always been in a perfect mood and behaved perfectly every day for our entire lives? Probably not. So how is it some people think their children have been able to pull off that incredible challenge? Even the most biblical of people must have had a tantrum now and again (Am I going to be struck by lightning for saying that?). Of course, I too see other people's wild children and see the flaws that their parents don't see; similar to how other people see my child's flaws and throw me judgemental glares, but I try my hardest to hold back (especially when other people's kids talk back to adults.) and even I have failed; I admit it, but it is an awful feeling to have people who don't walk in your shoes judge you.

I also don't want to hear anymore how much better things were "back in the day" when other generations were younger and things were so much better." Therefore, the woman at my work who tells me how her grown children never had a bad day because she was "an at home mom" (every single day) can just keep it to herself because I know perfection is impossible. To me, claims of perfection insinuate that someone has something to hide because I know perfection is a fallacy. I happen love the fact that my daughter is not a meek little mouse who sits still and never questions anything because I know in the real world she will have a fighting chance at survival. After all, is the "adult world" full of well behaved perfect people that always share, who never try to push the envelope, and never try to get their way? Well, according to their mothers they are, but I know better. Now then...I wonder where I can find one of those shirts after all. I mean they mass marketed that shirt for a reason, so it's not just me.