What Secret: It's just plain old positive thinking...

Yet another "Dear Diary" entry:

Today is my first day back to school, grad school nonetheless. I have been extremely anxious because I have felt like I will be in over my head for some time, but even more so after hearing at a BBQ for my cohort that most people are going to be part time. They just don't feel they can handle the workload even though most of them don't even work. Hmmm... Nothing personal here, but I feel like these people don't give themselves enough credit. I have always worked full-time and gone to school (almost always full-time with that as well). So anyway - quit the whining, ya know??? Anyway, in addition to my anxiousness, I have had the hardest time getting the correct materials. This is a big deal to me because I am a total control freak (at least I am willing to admit it!), but I am also the anti-procrastinator. So when I pick up my books, I expect them to be there that day, when they say they will be there, and I expect that they will all be included. I would also appreciate a smile and a thank you; yet, that was not the case this week, so had to go back three times just to catch them open and when I got home I discovered one class was missing (thanks to my friend who suggested I check them to be sure - thanks J). After searching three stores in town (one very sweet girl tried telling me that my class probably didn't have a book. I wish! It's ethics though, so I wasn't buying that. I have had like 3 ethics-type of classes at this point and they always involve a lot of reading). I found out from my professor that they ordered them late and that they wouldn't be in for awhile, which is really funny because everyone at the BBQ said they got all of theirs - ha!

So, at my friend "J's" suggestion I tried remembering the principles I learned from the Secret (thanks to Oprah). Okay, I should interject here that I am not some crazy hippy guru person and that the Secret is not sacrilegious - it's just good old positive thinking. I wish they had chosen some more standard representatives for the book though because I can totally see where they would come across a little Heaven's Gate-ish. Basically though, the book is the same stuff that trusty old Norman Vincent Peale preached back in the early 50's. Basically we were created with a magnificent amount of potential and it is our job to live up to that and expect that from ourselves. I kind of like that idea.

Essentially the book guides you into doing things that you should do to begin with. I don't even know that it's really the "universe" making things happen, or just plain old common sense. If you define what you want, you have a better chance of getting it. I mean, if you don't know what you want, how could you get it? Plus, if you are positive all of the time, of course the world around you will be more positive. It's easier for people to be nice to someone who has their head held high, smiling, and being generally approachable, right? It does seem odd that when I try to do what the Secret says and think of free coffee or a good parking space, I generally get those things because we have an incredible parking problem where I work and I get free coffee a lot! Maybe it's just that I know a lot of really nice and generous people and after spending enough time looking for a space, eventually you will get one. Alas, my cynical nature sort of feels that it's just a coincidence, but still, free coffee is free coffee!

Additionally, the Secret forces you to focus on the positive instead of the negative things. So if you are trained to notice only good things, you will think the world is a good place to be. Of course, you don't want to be naive, but dwelling on the things in the past that weren't great wont do anyone any good. Basically, you should get over it and move on (as I sit here dwelling - LOL). Dwelling keeps you floating in this sort of stagnant cesspool of negativity. You have to wade your way towards the light. Furthermore, the Secret tells you to envision yourself with the things you want and then to just forget about them without worrying whether or not they will come. I feel this works because when we stress out, we become negative and because the more we meddle with things, the more we muck things up for ourselves. It's like my books: So, if I just said "Okay, I will wait until class starts to see if they are here. I mean, I can't make them appear when they just aren't here" but instead I wrote my instructor and she wrote back, blah, blah, blah. I could have just left it alone and it would have worked out fine. Then again, and this is where the control freak comes out again - I now know the book will be here Friday, while before I wouldn't have been able to just simply forget about it or I would have never known where the heck it was. Sometimes it's nice to let someone else do the prying though. Anyway, now I can just forget about it until Friday.

I also feel that if you expect good things to happen, you are more likely to take chances. For example, I never play the lotto because I never win anything. My husband, however, always wins stuff, but then again he plays. He also gets stuff for free all of the time. People are always throwing in extra stuff on our to-go order or giving us discounts on stuff because... he asks. Who knew? I never ask because I just assume they will say no. He once called the cable company and said that he wanted a lower bill, so they gave us a great deal on HBO and other stuff, which lowered our bill even though we actually got more stuff. So essentially, it's all about assuming good things will come to you and that you deserve them. Or how about this one: The Secret tells you that food doesn't make you overweight, you make you overweight. I think this works because it tells us to take responsibility for ourselves, instead of blaming food. I know that when I say I am going to eat better, I can't focus on anything else but what I am missing out on - cookies, Frappuccino's, etc. I also know that one day I will look in the mirror and like how I look and the next day, I shudder at the thought of mirrors; yet, I look the exact same as I did the day before. It's all mental.

Anyway... I do try to remember the principles when I can see myself head towards the negative side of the street. I am not a naturally "head in the clouds" kind of person, so I do have to remind myself a lot. Today has been one of those days. I really want to go in with a positive attitude because I don't want to have a nervous breakdown from the stress, but the morning was a little stressful. I was running late this morning because I couldn't figure out what to wear. I almost hit a squirrel on the way in and did the typical stupid move by swerving into the next lane to avoid a hyperactive animal that always seems to run in front of cars. Are these animals suicidal or just too hyper to think? Luckily I didn't hit anything, but I did realize the error of my ways. On a side note: I heard on Stuff You Should Know that car manufacturers were trying to design a smart car that will think for you in a situation like this and they say basically "Bye Bye Squirrely" because the smart car realizes that it's either the squirrel or a car accident (poor squirrel). Anyway, then I get to work and the computers are down, but not everyone's just mine and a few others. It's end of the month and I have a financial job, so this was added stress I don't need (again, I am a control freak). So I spent the first hour waiting to see if IS would call me back and then I tracked down an free one in Admitting, which happens to be a supervisor's who is on vacation. Hopefully he doesn't get mad.

As crazy as the Secret sounds, it works. It really does. Again, it is more about your mental frame of mind and less about being a genie and making things appear; at least that is what I am going with. It's also about being "conscious" and aware of our thoughts and surrounding, which I feel is what all of those self-help books are about. We are more likely to screw things up when we aren't thinking about what we are doing. Think about working or driving - we can't do those things well when we are in La La Land. For me, it's just a matter or reminding myself to wake up and snap out of it. It's also about reminding yourself about what things in your life you are grateful for, of which I have a lot. So now, I am pulling out the Secret principles or whatever other self-help guru stuff is files in my brain and I am really going to try to forget about my whole insane morning. I hope, no I know, the rest of the day will be a great one! ;)