I used to dance...

So, I have this secret I have kept to myself all of these years: When I was a little girl I wanted so badly to be a prima ballerina. I would spend hours in my room pretending to be a dancer. I would leap and twirl in the secrecy of my room; imagining that I was the beautiful and graceful dancer that girls like myself wanted to be. In fact, I kept dancing secretly long after my ballet classes ceased to exist. I'm not sure why, except that despite my very realistic nature, I still had some glimmer of hope that I would someday be able to live out my dreams.

Well, this weekend I overheard thumps and Ashley Tisdale's version of Kiss the Girl from the Little Mermaid booming from my preschool aged daughter's room. I called my husband over to the door as we both listened at the door to figure out what she could possibly doing behind her Tinkerbell painted purple door, plus we wanted to be sure she wasn't going to hurt herself in her rampage. I secretly knew though... She was now the famous artist dancing and singing her way to stardom. I had always thought I was "different" for imagining this great world of fame with myself in center stage, but maybe not... I mean, this overactive imagination could possibly be a genetic defect, but what I really believe is that every little girl has a dream that we act out in our heads or behind closed doors; hoping that one day these dreams will come to life. Although, somewhere along the line, our dreams are often extinguished or stifled for numerous reasons... Possibly we find ourselves embarrassed by our vanity. Maybe others have made us feel weird that we have such preposterous ideas of who we want to be (not coordinated enough, not smart enough, the list goes on). Sometimes we just grow up and realize the odds are not in our favor. We all have our own reasons for giving up hope for our sometimes outlandish dreams, unfortunately. My own personal story? Well, it is seasoned with a little of all of the above. So... what did we find when we opened the door? She was dancing, of course. She just smiled at us and said "What? I'm dancing!"

Coincidentally, this weekend my friend and I had made plans to take our daughters to see the movie version of the musical Mama Mia (despite the looks of poor judgement I got from others). My daughter and I both loved the movie, but mostly, we loved the music! We went straight from the theater to the store to buy the soundtrack and then straight home to listen to it in her room (her idea). When my daughter was younger her and I used to dance in her room to children's songs by They Might Be Giants and other fun, yet edgy, songs before bedtime. Somewhere along the way we lost that tradition over the last couple of years. I had been so busy with school and she became more interested in Barbie; however, the Mama Mia soundtrack rejuvenated our little tradition once again because not only was the music is so inspiring, but the idea of people breaking out into random song and dance made me want to move to that tiny Greek island where the movie was supposedly set. Imagine how much less violence would exist if the world was full of people who felt compelled to sing all the time. Anyway... Thanks to our new motivation, we spent the greater part of the night dancing in her room...like little girls - her as the little girl she is, and me as the little girl I am at heart.

Marketing your backyard...no seriously.

This weekend my sister's family and mine visited an actual farm that allows visitors to roam freely. In theory, this sounded like a fantastic place for children to play in the grass and sunflower fields, while parents lounged in random hammocks throughout the backyard of the farm owners. There were pony rides (which we didn't see), tire swings, animals to pet, sprinklers to run through, an elaborate tree bridge/fort, and much more; however, as adults, we couldn't help wonder if driving an hour and paying $40 to get into this place was worth the money and time and I am not convinced it was. Don't get me wrong, they had a beautiful yard and the whole operation was a good idea, but it wasn't really carried out the way I had pictured in my head (well manicured lawns, wide open spaces, less clutter...). Despite the fact that the adults felt a little ripped off by the outing, the kids had a great time.

Meanwhile, the adults of the group were wondering why more people don't charge people to use their backyard for makeshift "field trips." Kids think anyplace besides home is a vacation or interesting. You could stay at a hotel a mile away and they would love the adventure. In preschool, I even remember driving around the block in a bus to what everyone else thought was a faraway trek, but was really a park around the corner. I was annoyingly astute at a young age, which really took the fun out of a lot of things for me by the way. This is a quality I see in my daughter as well and wish I could change, for her own good of course. In fact, I remember one of the dads at daycare asking her the name of her stuffed animal when she was two (no joke) and her responding "It's a stuffed animal; it's not real." He jokingly mocked the situation by saying "Geez dude, can't you tell this is a fake animal? Duh?" She never named her animals until recently when she started feeling pressure to do so. So now we have 50 animals named Crystal. If we make animals talk in cutesy voices to her, she always says the same thing: "It's not real." Ughhh. By the way, she is amazingly imaginative, despite the picture this store paints.

Okay, off track again... Anyway, couldn't anyone with a reasonably sized yard start a backyard operation like this farm thing? There were 20 children in the hour we were there, plus parents. So, say $6 per person and one parent per child (at the least), that's $240 per hour! There must be some way for me to pull that off! Although I doubt homeowners would go along with the plan. Plus, you would have to deal with strangers walking through your personal space every weekend; oh and wild animals, which this city girl knows nothing about. Anyway, there's my random thought for the day: How we can all exploit our land to earn extra money for rising gas prices, without leaving the house.

My favorite podcasts for now...

USA TODAY's Popcandy
Amateur Traveler
FM94/9 San Diego (Interviews)
MSNBC Countdown
NBC Today Show
Stuff You Should Know
VH1 The Best Week Ever
Oprah.com's Spirit Channel
New Yorker: Fiction
This American Life

I think I have said this, but I spend a lot of time at waiting around at ballet and other activities, so I use this time to catch up on news or other interesting information. The following podcasts also help keep me awake while driving or during other boring activities, so I thought I would share:

• FM94/9 San Diego (Interviews) - I stumbled onto this podcast after a recent trip to San Diego while driving up the coast to Hollywood, but basically 94/9 seems to be the best station in the country as far as I can tell. The interviews are with some well-known and some not-so-well-known bands (Artists such as Plain White T's, Perry Farrell, and Peter Buck), but they are all really interesting. The DJ who does most of the interviews (Halloran I think??), has a great ability to conduct interviews. I think he talent is mostly due to the fact that he really knows his stuff musically-speaking. I just wish they would keep the live versions of the songs in the podcast; most of them are cut out of the interview. Maybe that has something to do with licensing.
• USA TODAY's Popcandy - The funny thing about this podcast is that Whitney Matheson is really into comics and Battlestar Galactica, which I am not into at all, but yet the entire podcast is really engaging and interesting. The topics of the podcasts are diverse, such as the interviews she conducts with directors, actors, etc. I am often wishing the podcasts were longer than the typical 20-30 minutes. I especially like when she has a call-in session with readers of her blog and you can listen to them talk about the most off-the-wall things.
• Amateur Traveler - I love to travel and this is a great podcast to get you motivated and to find out about places you may have not have even heard about. The host Chris Christensen is also smart and likeable simultaneously.
• MSNBC Countdown - I know it doesn't seem this way, but I don't have a lot of spare time. Countdown is a daily news dose, without all of the commercials and extra fluff stuff that wastes time. The show leans towards the left, but in an educated, well informed way. Plus, the show manages to make news entertaining, which is not always easy to do.
• NBC Today Show - For obvious reasons... mostly diversity of information though
• Stuff You Should Know - Short five-minute podcasts telling you about well, stuff you should know, like How Yawning Works. I like the guy who hosts, he is funny in a weird way.
• VH1 The Best Week Ever - Enough said, and they even have full episodes.
• Oprah.com's Spirit Channel - Corny, I know, but I find that these give me a little extra motivation to "deal."
• Nick Jr's Making Fiends - Okay, at first glance this cartoon is really bizarre, but the more you watch, the more you get sucked into the ongoing saga of Vendetta and Charlotte's one-sided friendship.
• New Yorker: Fiction - I already gave an overly detailed explanation of this; however, I will say I work in, let's just say, a financial type of job and tend to find myself craving more thought provoking activity throughout the day. This podcast allows me to use the more creative side of my brain when I find the time to listen.
• This American Life - A new one for me, this podcast has the ability to grab the listener's attention through short stories from different people, based on a particular theme. One podcast about lack of knowledge talked about a woman who didn't realize that unicorns weren't on the endangered species list, because well, they are not real. She discovered the truth at a keg party with her friends staring blankly at her. I was laughing out loud at some of the people's confessions of stupidity, or maybe just naivety. I would just say to avoid the one called "Life After Death" because it is sad, although very interesting still

A few little things...

• Alright, I called my neighbor and declined her invitation to her "Slumber Party" on Sunday; therefore, my lingerie preferences will continue to be a secret from the rest of my neighborhood,and the world, for the time being (see story below).
  
• My daughter's life keeps my mind whirling on a normal basis, but this week she told me "Drew asked me to be his girlfriend" (keep in mind she is preschool age here). I am not sure how to handle this one because the mom in me wants to say "You're not dating until you're 30, so you better tell him no." Although the "Psychologist" in me says to just blow it off because the more restrictions you put on a child and the bigger deal you make out of a situation, the bigger deal it will become. For the time being I am just letting her chat about daily activities and I am believing this similar to playing house - no big deal. It's not like they are going on dates.

The purpose behind bad reunions:

I was listening to The New Yorker's fiction podcast titled "Reunion" this week, which is about a boy who sets up a brief meeting with his estranged father. In short, the boy was excited about the visit, but the father's knack for belittling everyone he came in contact with and being immensely belligerent (probably due to his drinking) made you wonder if the boy was questioning why he wanted to meet him to begin with. So the boy said goodbye, because he had to catch a train, and the story ended.

At first glance the story doesn't appear to have a point; therefore, I was trying to decide what the point was. I think I figured out that sometimes we long to see a particular person that has been absent from our lives (estranged parents, ex's, friends, etc) and when we actually get a chance to see that person, we rediscover the very reason for their absence to begin with. In this situation, the boy didn't have a choice, but often we break of ties with people, forget our reasoning behind the break-up, and bring them back into our lives; only to discover we were right the first time.

The story hit home because it correlates my own life over the last couple of weeks, but also because everyone seems to face the same situation at some point in their life. For example, my mom recently visited my from the Northwest. After a few days of staying with my sister and driving her completely insane, they both decided to cut the trip short. My mom has issues she needs to work out and my sister is too busy to play "parent" to her own mother. I think there is always this sense of disappointment after something like this happens because we have these expectations of how certain relationships in our lives (especially parent-child) are supposed to be and when they don't turn out that way, we feel a void where something is missing. We also sometimes blame ourselves for things not working out.

This all sounds a little depressing, but I also think these little meet-ups can be a good thing. For instance, in this boy's situation or say an ex-boyfriend/girlfriend, after seeing why we left someone behind, we can finally let go of that unrealistic dream of reuniting and get on with our lives. Those "dreams" and unrealistic recollections of souvenirs of the past can hold us back from appreciating the good things in life. I guess absence makes the heart grow fonder, but "Reunions" bring our minds back to reality. So that was my giant epiphany for this week! Let it go...

Cures for insomnia:

I am a total insomniac. I seriously wake up in the middle of the night and just goof around on the internet because I can’t sleep. I think everyone on my mother’s side of the family is, so it must be genetic. Maybe it is what makes my gerbil-like mind babble incessantly on this blog thing. Hmmm… Anyway, I have decided to list some cool websites I have found useful to cure my midnight boredom lately in case anyone who may see this can also cure their boredom:

www.quamut.com - A friend told me about this one today actually. This gives you the “How To” in just about everything under the sun, such as buying a good laptop, or I don't know, knitting.

Hulu.com - My husband loves this site. This site lets you watch TV shows or movies; you just have to endure some commercials in the process.

Pandora.com - My favorite iPod Application as well – A personalized radio

Eventful.com - Tells you about upcoming events based on your location and lets you request certain events that you wish would come to your location.

AskSunday.com - I have never used this, but I saw this on the Today Show and it peeked my interest. This is a virtual personal assistant that costs a minimum of like $19.99 a month for 10 tasks. The reporter from the Today Show said someone even used their personal assistant to wish their mother happy birthday, so then of course I had to check it out. Of course, I would never actually use this site for my mother, but it was tempting! Another person used it to break up with a girlfriend, which just seems wrong. It's a cool concept though.


I also found this Time Magazine's Top 10 Websites when I was checking out AskSunday.com, since it is apparently their #2 site. Here is the article: Time Article. They have some other cool sites on there, such as Lemonade.com and FatSecret.com.

More about hiking with kids...

I have a cold. :( So I am going to just post a letter I wrote to my pastor at church for an assignment he gave us. He told us to "Take a hike" and tell him about it:

Last weekend we took your advice and took the family on a hike. We agreed to meet my sister and her kids in at Golden Ponds Park. The park has paved trails, but is still feels like you are in the wilderness; with waterfalls, cacti, mysterious noises coming from the forest, and more! Although there were paved trails, the hike did not feel any easier than a typical hike due to the heat, the children, and my husband who is apparently not into nature as I am. My sister and I used to hike every weekend before we had kids. She has three children that are six and under and I have one very high-maintenance four-year-old. Don't get me wrong, I love my daughter so, so much, but she started whining 20 feet in and never stopped. So, while the trails we used to hike were grueling and steep, this well paved road was as challenging mentally as those other trails were physically.

Before we even left our house we had to get all the gear together, find a time that was agreeable to everyone involved, change the times a millions times, and round everyone up (which was like herding cats). When we left the house our dogs decided they wanted to come, so escaped when we opened the door. They then did that things Black Labs do best when they don't want to budge - laid on their backs with sad puppy eyes. So after everyone was in their correct places, we drove to the trail. Although all of the kids were hot and tired, all four of them had different attitudes. My niece was ambitious, my nephew seemed bored, my daughter complained, and my other nephew has a fantastic disposition and just enjoyed the scenery. Oh, and my husband was convinced that our 1.5 mile hike was six miles and told us that people are smarter in New Mexico (where he is from) because when it is too hot they stay home. My sister and I were content to enjoy nature, but were definitely held back by the 9 million stops between the kids and my husband, so we spent a lot of time waiting on others. In the end we only traveled 1.5 miles for a couple hours, but it felt like a long journey by the time we returned.

To make a long story short, this is what I have learned: Getting started on a journey takes preparation - both mentally and physically. Convincing others to go on the journey with you is not always easy, or even possible. We all travel at our own rate. We all travel with a different attitude. Other people's attitudes can definitely impact the attitude of the people on the same path, but they can also impact the length of time it takes others to reach their destinations. Sometimes we get lost along the way, but generally end up on track. Sometimes you have to carry others who don't have the strength to do it themselves. Usually the journey is worth the effort, despite setbacks. Most importantly: At the end of the day, we tend to enjoy the success of completion when we have had someone along to share in our success.

Therefore, despite the incessant complaining, I am glad I was able to share the experience with my family because I love them!

A little about my hectic life... and my revelation.

I was talking with a guy at work recently who was saying that this year's vacation was going to be a "Staycation" (the ever popular new term for "Gas is too much so we are staying home."). He said his parents were coming and while last year they had all gone up to a nearby tourist city for vacation, he "much more prefers to sit around the living room catching up with family." After a lengthy argument with my own husband about how he could expect me to impose on out of state friends by sitting in their house for four days, it took this conversation with a coworker to bring me to my senses! My epiphany: Normal people like to just sit around and talk on their days off! I had never in a million years thought that I was the "oddball!" For instance, my husband also told me that his boss had never even taken his kids to the museum or the zoo! Is that even possible? I can't imagine a world without seeing dinosaurs and IMAX theaters. In an era where neighborhoods no longer have expansive forests to explore and predators seem to be everywhere, what do "normal" kids do to kill time or fulfill their curiosities? Or with childhood obesity on the rise, what do normal kids do for exercise for that matter? You can't just let your kids run free anymore while adults sit at home and "Chat" like the good ol' days, but alas, I have concluded I am abnormal because I over plan.

Take this weekend for instance: We went to see Batman Friday night. I also had planned a rock climbing session with my family on Saturday morning. I then thought "Why not go paddle-boating on the lake?" after rock climbing, but my husband gave me that look like "You can't be serious. We just spent three hours dangling from a rope? When do you rest?" I know that look well, so I gave in and we went home. We then went out to the store later until about 9:00 PM, and topped off the evening with a "movie night" for my daughter and myself at home. The next day my sister and I planned a hiking trip to view the wild flowers with our two families, but changed the location to be a bit closer to home after I got the aforementioned look from my husband yet again. We had a blast (well, I had a blast and I am pretty sure my sister and niece did too), but the entire time my husband and daughter kept saying "What's the point? Where are we going? Blah, blah, blah..." This is when I discovered that my husband's family didn't really hike when he was growing up. He told me that where he is from (New Mexico) it is too hot to leave the house, so people stay inside. So this got me thinking again... "Is this how normal people are?"

See, here's the thing: Why is it these people want to sit around talking on our vacations when these same people so carefully avoid talking to one another the rest of the year? Isn't that the reason e-mail and blogs were invented, and isn't that why I am on this blog, talking to myself? To avoid bugging the people I love so much? So called "normal" people don't want to hear other people talk. Isn't that why they turn the television up when someone talks too loud? See what I mean? So what I really think people are saying when they say they want to "catch up" is that they want to gather around the television. To me, the idea of sitting around the living room for three days talking with family and doing nothing else sounds painful.

Don't get me wrong...I love my family and love hearing about people's lives -it's what I do; yet, take my father and his wife for example (and keep in mind I chose them for this example because, next to my sis, they are my favorite relatives)... I adore them and we have the best time visiting with them, but say they came to visit and we just sat around shooting the breeze all week. At some point wouldn't we run out of things to say and just sit there staring at one another? Wouldn't we eventually come down with cabin fever, which is where things generally take a turn for the worse? I mean, after all, I saw The Shining. Which one of us would be Jack Nicholson's character after three days of "Chatting" with one another? This brings up another topic: My husband and his parents want to drive in his small SUV with the five of us for seven hours one way (14 total) in the hot sun. I like them, but I am not sure it's a good idea to keep family shoved together for long periods without leg room. I think that is like forcing the odds or something. I may drive them nuts with my incessant chatter and they may insist my husband find a wife who can remain calm for long periods of time.

Is it really me though? Am I the abnormal one for not wanting to waste my life away indoors? Maybe I should appreciate this willingness to spend time with family without distractions. Maybe it depends on where you are from? Could this whole "sit around and enjoy one another" thing be a regional thing and the Rocky Mountains are the gateway to down to earth, laid-back, "who needs to see the world when we have each other" living? Maybe it's the city girl in me that has a sense of urgency to see the whole world and has this constant twinge of disappointment knowing it is not possible for me to see every last inch of the world before I am too old to travel. So, in the mean time, I have decided that a consciousness of the vast difference between my husband (and the rest of the world) and myself will at least aid me in trying not to plan too much in a day. Apparently moderation is the key! - Although I cannot make any guarantees to slow down, I will at least try not drag everyone down with me!

Dilemma...

Usually you would hear the word "Party" and think "YAY!" Although, this week, I am not so sure that party always equals "yay." In the last week I have been invited to two different parties that are not my cup of tea; however, the problem is, how do you get out of them? The first one is a work event and is pretty much "required," so... no getting out that one! I mean nothing personal to the people holding it. It's just that the theme is "Country" and anyone who knows me knows that dressing up like a cowgirl is "not really my thing." I mean, putting me in cowboy boots and a cowboy hat is the torture equivalent of shoving me in a tiny box and dropping me in a lake. Although, I will say that I have become much more tolerant of some "Country" type of things living here in the "West" (I have never understood why the Rocky Mountain region is considered "The West" when California would technically be the west wouldn't it? Yet, people in CA never really say things like "Here out west..." Hmm... Oops, I got sidetracked!). For example, I have learned what "mutton busting" is. Albeit I still think it is weird, I do know what it is when people bring it up, which comes up much more than you would think actually. I also like a couple (literally) of country songs, such as that Trace Adkin's song "You're going to miss this," but that's about the extent of the cowgirl in me. I am also not big on party games or "building bridges" type-of-things, since people tend to be pushy and competitive. They make me want to run and hide. That will be an interesting event!

The second party is definitely out, but how can I get out if it? Here's the scoop: So, I live in a pretty "normal" and family friendly neighborhood, well, until recently I thought I did... My "Ned Flanders" nicest neighbor in the world (who mows our lawn for us for free) has a new live-in girlfriend. Since she doesn't work she seems to have plenty of time to soak up the sagas of the other neighbors, and share it all with us, whether or not we care (we're talking affairs, drug use, etc.). I mean, fascinating as this is, at some point isn't this the equivalent of being a Peeping Tom? Plus, ignorance is bliss when it comes to neighbors, isn't it? Anyway, the point is that you feel uncomfortable having a disagreement in your own home for fear of who may be listening in and judging you.

So yesterday she hands me an invitation (that looks like a Pampered Chef type-of-thing) and without even looking at it, I say "Great! Let me check my schedule and get back with you!" Really meaning "Hmm... I'm sure I must have something else going on that day. I hope." Well, I take it inside and show my husband the card. He actually reads it (novel idea) and says "You know what this is don't you?" I say "No, what?" So he read something to the effect of "Slumber party (Not an actual sleep-over): Girls 18 and over only. See items such as flavored gels, body oil, blah, blah, blah..." I stopped listening after "Flavored gels" because I was already thinking of my strategy of getting out of this whole thing. I really am not as prudish as I sometimes come across (okay maybe I am, who knows), but the idea of spending a couple of hours looking at this stuff with my neighbors reminded me of that awkward scene in that Patrick Dempsey movie "Made of Honor" where the grandma mistakes some, uh, intimate items for a necklace. I just don't feel like sharing this kind of information with a neighbor that tells me everyone else's business. I can only imagine what she would do with that kind of Intel on all of the neighbors!

Besides, despite the fact that I am pretty shy in general (which you would never know from the fact that I am blabbing my personal stuff online) I would have to somehow talk a friend into coming with me, since it said "Bring a friend," which sent my mind whirling as to which friend I would be mean enough to subject this situation to (my sister just laughed and said no. LOL). Anyway... wrapping this up... I just don't know what to say to this person to turn her down, without seriously offending her since I still have to live by her. I want to just say "Have you lost your mind?" but that doesn't seem appropriate. My husband says to just go and deal with it. I secretly think he is just hoping I buy some of the stuff they are selling. Okay, so there's my drama for today!

I can't let it go...

Okay, so last Saturday my sister and I decided to load up the kids (hers and mine) and take them to this swimming pool paradise, complete with tubing water slides, at the fantastic gym my sister belongs to. My mother was in town and we thought she would want to spend time with the grand kids, but that is another story. I normally hate swimming because it involves getting into a suit (which I hate and you will see why below) and being cold (which I hate), but I gave in and jumped in the water anyway (okay, I slowly dragged myself in). So, after awhile I felt comfortable enough to relax a bit and that is when I was emotionally ambushed! Alright, I may be exaggerating a bit, but an 11-year-old-ish kid came past me and said "Crap you're white" and then just wandered off! It was like a mental hit and run! So I know I am pale, okay? Does saying it out loud make him feel better somehow? What was really upsetting is that I have been in the sun a lot more this summer and had somehow fooled myself into thinking I was "tanner" than usual...I guess not.

Afterwards, I was talking to one of my most favorite people in the world about the "incident" (Hi "J"). I was telling her how a coworker recently told me that she loved Nicole Kidman's porcelain skin because it was "so beautiful" and that my first thought after he told me that I was "white" was "I wonder if Nicole has to put up with this kind of thing." She pointed out to me that Nicole probably doesn't go to the beach and probably wraps up when she does go. She is probably right, but I'm still convinced that Nicole's paleness is ignored by 11-year-old boys because she is famous, well and gorgeous! Besides, this particular friend looks about half her age and has this beautiful naturally "Tan" (her adjective) skin that makes her look good in anything. You know, it's difficult to receive sympathy from someone who always looks good because it's hard to believe them. It's like "No, no, I'm sure you look good!" but what she is really probably thinking is "Well, you are really, really pale. Do you even know what the sun looks like?" Don't get me wrong, I adore J and she is a saint because she listens to me ramble, but I know she is just being nice, which brings me to the point of the story: For some reason I cannot let go of insecurities, despite what anyone says. A thousand people could say something nice, but I think girls in general always hear the one bad comment and hang onto it forever! Why is that? I actually heard an interview with Madonna once where she said something similar. So maybe celebrities do think the same way. Maybe Nicole Kidman is just as insecure as I am in a bathing suit! Okay, well, let's not get carried away. Anyway, there you go, that is why I hate swimming and always have. I have always been noticeably pale and people have always been brave enough to point it out to me, even strangers. Sigh...

One thing I should say before I go: I have always known about the link between sun exposure and skin cancer, so have always been pretty cautious about not getting too much sun. I heard a report on the Today Show recently about the increase in malignant melanoma for women, so maybe pasty, sunless skin should be the cool new thing to have? Therefore, I should let go of my insecurities and strut my stuff at the beach to encourage an awareness about skin cancer. Who knows, it may help with skin cancer rates! See, I could be doing some good for society and "getting over myself"all at the same time.

(Okay, see what goes through my cluttered mind that I have been just keeping bottled up each day? It's a wonder I get so much done! ;) Thank goodness for blogs! I'm liking this. It's very therapeutic!)

Stories...

If I could make a living being a critic of restaurants, amusement parks, magazines, and on and on... naturally, I would in a heartbeat; however, I think my favorite job would be to critique and write about books and short stories. I think that is why I absolutely love the New Yorker's fiction podcast. With the latest controversy the magazine is involved with, I was thinking about how the New Yorker often goes somewhat unnoticed to the average individual, which is unfortunate because I personally love to hear the featured stories the New Yorker presents. Each author has a different style they use when telling a story, but yet they all seem to have the same ability to capture the reader's attention (or in this case the listener).

My favorite story so far has been this story about a cynical book critic who has an, uh, interesting visit to a bank (the irony of my choice of favorites will become clear to anyone who happens to find the time to listen to the story). The name of the story is called Bullet in the Brain and the podcast is called One with a Bullet, under the New Yorker: Fiction on iTunes. I liked the way the writer created a character that actually speaks the things that a lot of people think and manages to show the impact of saying whatever comes to mind without consideration of others' feelings. The author also shows how somewhere along the line, people in modern society seem to have built up a facade to protect ourselves to the point where we forget life is not some reality television show that we are watching. We are human beings in the flesh. There is also this somewhat interesting story I listened to today called A List of Books (the name of the podcast, not the story) where the editor and another author discuss the story, but also discuss a study that shows how people tend to act like characters in their own life stories and their intentions are based on the people they would want to be, but our "real" selves always hold us back from fulfilling the acts that would make us that "fantasy" person (that was my interpretation anyway). I think that is true. We never really act around others how we do when we are alone with ourselves.

Anyway... I think what is truly incredible about the entire list of stories presented on the podcast is that the stories are usually simple tales about some subtle twist in some non-extravagant person's life. It's as though each writer peeks into the window of a normal person's home at a strange moment and sees just enough to tell an interesting little story. I feel like having the ability to write a story that sounds so simple, yet grabs the attention of thousands of readers, is such a gift; especially compared to a girl who is talking to herself. ;)

Do you do this? Or is it just me?

The Today Show featured this article the other day in the New York Times called "The Ideal Husband" and, despite the fact that I already have a husband, I was curious what they had to say about the topic. I often find myself reading these Cosmo-type articles and making comparisons to see if I made a good choice, which is probably an odd thing to do I am guessing and because he is really pretty great. I can't help it, I get sucked into the titles like "Are You and Your Mate Completely Wrong for One Another?" and find myself skimming the material "just to be sure" that I haven't been living with the wool pulled over my eyes and thinking "Are we totally wrong for one another??? What will I do?" Anyway...I think what was most interesting about the article is that the advice was given by a priest, who obviously wasn't married himself (although the article was written by Maureen Down I believe). Listening to what he had to say, I must say that I fully agree with him! There are times where I wish I had looked into a couple of these issues (uh, mother attachments [cough, cough]). I think knowing the full extent of what you are getting into up front by investing a little time and effort and yet still rationally making the decision to go ahead with a relationship takes away any excuses you have to say "I didn't know" in order to justify the relationship not working. I also liked what he had to say because he specializes in helping high school children, who I plan to be working guiding these same individuals on their future paths soon and believe this to be a topic that may arise in my future expeditions.

To check it out:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/06/opinion/06dowd.html?ex=1373083200&en=fbf7febd9931c3f7&ei=5124&partner=permalink&exprod=permalink

My Favorite New Invention:

Okay, so I love, love, love my iPod, which is strange because I never thought I would need or want one, but now I want to marry it (okay a little over the top). I got it for a gift from my lovely husband and now I want to cry when I forget it. I know it's not just me either. My sister's iPod went down when she was at the gym and it lost all of her running information for that day, so she was upset that her computer thought she was being a slacker when she went to upload her information. Seriously, it's an addiction! Anyway, I discovered another great invention awhile ago and thought I would share how much I love Pandora.com. You select an artist and Pandora will put together a mix of music that fits with that artist, plus you can choose numerous artists and mix them together, and listen to them on the internet, your iPod Touch, or cell (I guess). So say I chose Depeche Mode: I will hear a mix of bands like The Cure Soft Cell, New Order, and Information Society; along with Depeche Mode of course. Then, as if that is not great already, you can give a thumbs up or thumbs down on a song and it will adjust what you listen to. Great fun! I mean, it's no iPod, but it's still great. ;)

What's the point?

Almost every one of us has rambled on and on to our friends, family, or coworkers without being able to stop ourselves. We think some story we are sharing is interesting or entertaining, despite the fact we can tell the person sitting across from us is losing interest quickly. Why is that? Why can’t the self-proclaimed blabbermouth in us (AKA rambler, chatty Cathy, chatterbox, flap jowler, etc.) just quit talking? I don’t know, but I would tell you if I knew because I am the type of person who likes to talk. For example, I can tell you that “Blabbermouth” in this context is actually a misuse of the term. I am not someone who blabs secrets, but just someone who needs to chat, to share, to bounce ideas off of people, and who loves to hear about others’ lives as well. I can't help it! To me, people make the world go round and communication is the glue that binds us together, albeit cheesy, I know... I also love my child and hate to think of going through the day without saying her name or letting others know how funny she is; yet, I hold back on talking about her because I know that no one will ever think she is great as I think she is. Much like the pictures we take of our lives, most people will never find them as interesting as we do. So, many of our favorite moments go unnoticed, unappreciated, and uncelebrated by anyone but ourselves. I find that to be so, so sad... Anyway, due to my profound sensitivity to the people around me (if I do say so myself -ha ha), I have decided to share my random thoughts, life stories and insane ideas with…myself. If someone else chooses to listen in, well then, welcome! You can also find solace in knowing that I am usually in the mood to listen if you feel like rambling back. In the mean time, maybe I can spare those around me the effort of pretending to care, and as negative as that may sound, I really mean it! ;)