Wondering

I'll make this short because I am supposed to be writing a paper, but I am finding myself distracted by my thoughts and since the whole point of this blog is to clear my mind of incidental thoughts, here goes:

So I was getting in my car today after work and was heading over to pick my daughter up for her doctor's appointment. Something inside of me just felt this gut-wrenching feeling of sadness because I can't be with her during the day like some moms can and my very first thought was "Gosh, I hope she had a good day." Today was the first day of her being "Marvelous me," which is a role designated to them by the teacher for the week. She gets to be the "feature" child for the whole week and gets to be the teacher's helper, etc. We even brought in fun pictures of her and her family, like the one of her fighting Darth Vader. So, it turns out her day was great until we went to see the doctor and she had to get her shots. She was a fantastic sport and as usual didn't make a peep. That is something interesting about my daughter, by the way: She has never shed a tear when getting a shot, not even as a baby! Strange little girl! ;) The nurse even lectured me about it. I said "Wow, you didn't even cry!" Then she proceeded to scold me by saying "She should be able to cry if she wants to." As though I somehow forced her not to? Huh? Can you even do that because I would like to figure out how to make a kid not cry. That would make life a lot easier! Plus I would be a hit at malls, on airplanes, at doctor's offices, and other places where kids tend to scream.

Anyway, so here is my thought (I know, I know... way to get straight to the point, huh?): I was thinking about how every single day my heart aches to see my daughter and I think about what kind of day she is having every day as well, but did my parents ever feel this way? Did they even care where we were or what we are doing? Is is just me that thinks this way or is it just this generation of parents? You know, the generation that uses car seats, doesn't feed your child eggs before he or she turns one, and puts locks on all of the cabinets. Did any of our parents ever feel this way? I am fairly certain my parents didn't and my husband, well, I doubt that either. Nothing against them or anything, but I think it was just a different time in life. Perhaps I worry more because I have more to worry about - 9/11, tornadoes (I didn't grow up around them), sexual predators (now that we have websites that tell us exactly how many there are and where they live), lead toys, etc. Hmmm... I wonder...