8 ot of 10 Toys are Made in China?

Recently I took a class, a career seminar, where we essentially visited local businesses to get a feel for employment issues, concerns, and needs. I learned a great deal in this one week seminar (which I meant to talk about earlier), but recently I was reminded of one specific comment made by an HR member from one of the local business. The company specialized in some kind of manufacturing that seemed to have a focus on energy. The man was talking about the trend of going green and seeking alternative fuel sources and he told us "We will need to do something because so much of U.S. money is being spent overseas for oil, etc., so eventually some sheik will own the U.S." This comment really made me think because, well, it seemed like a strange thing to say, but also because I had never really given it much thought until he phrased it that way. It's obvious business common sense though- if we are importing more than we are exporting, we are sending out more money than we are taking in - not good obviously. It made me think...

A few weeks later, my kindergartner and I were sitting on her bed when we started talking about where toys were made. I decided this conversation may be a good lesson for her. So I asked her to look around her room and tell me where 10 of her toys are made. One Disney poster was made in Canada and she picked up one figurine that was hand painted in the U.S., but the rest...China. The bottom line, from what I could see based on this little tiny experiment, is that Barbie is a main contributor to the killing of U.S. dollars. Now, I am not saying I will never buy Barbie or Disney stuff ever again because I, well, am wondering if that is even possible; plus, I know there would still be ramifications on U.S. jobs that way as well. Additionally, with the economy, I realize people are going to buy whatever is cheapest and Barbie is still relatively cheap (probably because it is made elsewhere). I mean, I know first hand, I have been to some of those cute shops with local clothes and toys and I simply don't have the money to buy a $50 doll, $60 sweaters, or $25 locally made underwear from some fancy boutique for my daughter. I do think we should really take a look at what we are buying and definitely choose local when we can; however, I think it would be great if we as a society could figure out a way to make things more reasonably priced here at home because I don't want to give all of our money away to other countries either. I also think this would be a great lesson we could implement in our educational system for our kids because, after all, they are our future manufacturers, designers, business owners, and government officials. The conclusion I have come to in the mean time is based on another lesson I learned from this week long seminar - self-reliance and creativity are key - Own your own business if you can and try to buy locally. Give your business a creative edge that Barbie and others just can't top. The more locally own businesses we have and use, the more likely they will be forced to have competitive prices to one another. Anyway, it's just something on my mind...

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Some of the other things I learned the week we toured all different sorts of business including a microbrewery, a power plant, and the local correctional facility:

Anything that can fit into a box has a chance of being outsourced according to one of our interviews with a local businessman.

Those who are right-brained vs. left brained may have an advantage because left-brained jobs are more likely to be outsourced or eliminated by computers. Creativity allows a person to go with the flow, adapt, change, and enhance marketability.

Thoroughly research any company that you go into an interview with. Companies find it offensive when you don't know anything about them. Interestingly, this has changed some with the Internet because researching wasn't always so easy. Now, the Internet makes it easier for someone to have an edge over you by spending a little extra time researching things.

Internships are a great way to get your foot in the door and to see if something is what you want to do. You don't necessarily need a degree to do this.

Attitude is key to getting a job. Make sure you fit your personality to the job you are applying for or you will both be miserable.

Creativity and persistence (without stalking) pays. One company said a girl brought them fresh baked cookies everyday for two weeks. I also heard about a girl who sent a cake to the HR department that said "Hire Jane" (or whatever her name was).

A good bet for the future is in green jobs.

Compared to some other nations, the United States places a lot less emphasis on hours spent toward education; yet, the U.S. seems to have a better insight into extracurricular activities and socializing, networking, etc.

Walmart is actually doing a lot to make their stores greener and more efficient, which also helps the bottom line. Which brings up another good point: As a business owner, if you take a hit, get back up and make the changes necessary to recreate a better public image.

I think that is it? Oh, if you ever want to work at the county jail, be honest on your resume and in the interview because they would rather you have a blemish on your record than to find out you lied about it. Okay, that is it...for now!

Expanding Your Conversational Top Five

The other day I was hanging out with a few other moms while we watched our little ones interact on a group play date. The thing is, these play dates really seem to be less about the kids, as much as these outings are an excuse for other moms to relate to one another, compare notes about child development, and to complete a general sanity check-in. So as we were sitting there talking, one of the mothers brought up an interesting game (for lack of better words) her and fellow coworkers were playing. Essentially, the idea is that we all have a list of roughly the top five topics we can boil our everyday conversations down to. I can't really remember her list specifically, but I can imagine it wasn't much different than my list: (1) My daughter; (2) My husband; (3) Fatigue; (4) Stress; (5) School (most people probably could probably find something else to substitute easily into these fields for their own lives, such as their crazy coworkers, money, health, etc.).

So this list made me really think about how we as humans get into a rut in which everything on our list is always the same. Keep in mind, this isn't a list of the most important things in our lives, it's a list of items we converse about the most. I also noticed that the majority of the items on the tops of our lists (I have checked in with several people now as part of an unofficial experiment) are negative things: Stress, being tired, lack of money, etc. This is actually kind of interesting when you start grilling others about what their list might say, or, making your own private list for others vs. what they say, since we tend to mirror the attitudes those around us. Even better, try to think of what others in different aspects of your life might say about you: Are you different at work, home, school, etc.? My husband's list was interesting to me, for example, because I don't hear him talk about me that often, but I was on his list. Hmmm... My list for him? Our daughter, Money, Sports, News, and Work. Interesting...

So what do we do to make these lists have a more positive feel? This may possibly have something to do with the diversity of our "Top 5" list or maybe the thing to do is what pretty much every self-help book that exists suggests: "Focus on the positive." Complaining is negative and negativity generates/attracts more negativity and the next thing you know you are swimming in a cesspool of negative thoughts. In my quest to discovering how to be a happier and a livelier person (this is my new quest by the way), I think I may be onto something here. I think I will try to diversify my "Top Five" list.

It makes sense...We diversify our stock portfolios because we don't want to put all of our eggs in one basket, so it stands to reason that this same philosophy would apply nicely to life as well. We also don't throw all of our money into stocks that are in the negative, so why do we put our thoughts there? I have decided that in order to increase my happiness value I am going to focus my time and energy on a "Top Five" that is more suitable to who I want to be. Then, each day I am going to go back through the day's conversational activity and generate a "Top Five" list to see if I am adequately choosing more diverse and positive conversation that is more congruent with the new happier life I want to live.

I am hoping that by diversifying my thoughts and conversations, I will decrease my general boredom throughout the day as well, but also, by monitoring my “Top Five” I will: (1) Decrease my boredom and the boredom of those around me from listening to me; (2) Diversify who I am as a person and the things I do; (3) Learn to see the big picture of my life, rather than focusing on the same few things; (4) Have a better perspective of how others see me; and (5) Become happier by focusing on the positive.

Split Personalities

Okay, so I have been a bad, bad blogger lately. I have finally had some spare time since being out of school for most of the summer, but I have filled up that spare time with other stuff essentially. : ) Anyway, I found this article and I felt like sharing it as a way of slowly working my way back into posting on my blog. I may eventually talk about how Facebook seems to be a great way for someone shy (like me) to get out of their comfort zone socially, but this particular article discuses the different personalities people portray simply by posting a Facebook status update. In fact, sometimes a Facebook status can be totally incompatible with who a person is in real-life.

The article just gives a fun overview of what your status says about you and how a person can spice things up a bit. I know I have certainly been the "Tired" poster for example. This article will really make me think twice when I post a status update and, at the very least, I may try to make it more interesting when I say something about being tired. For example, a friend recently posted a status update about being exhausted from getting up and getting dressed in the middle of the night after setting her alarm clock without her glasses, but she did it with humor and a little light-hearted self deprecation that made it interesting. Anyway...
Facebook Personalities Article

Marshmallow Trick and the Money Saving Pig...

Awhile ago, my class was visited by an incredible speaker who presented at least three hours worth of exercises counselors can use in group therapy. I mean, this wasn't some boring presenter who had us sticking toothpicks in our eyelids to keep them open like in the cartoons. He was from New Orleans and seemed to be a mix of a counselor and Matthew McConaughey in the way that he was all over the map and had a cool, smooth talking southern accent. We were all depressed when his speaking time was up, but there was still so much more for us to learn. He set all of his props (mousetraps, etc.) all around the room and had us choose which topic we were most curious about learning. On my way home that night, I started thinking that someday when I had time I would relay some of the cool things I learned that night and I figured I could start with the Marshmallow study...

The Study: Marshmallow Study (I chose this article because it is simple, but I also really liked the money saving, delayed gratification piggy bank! There's a link...)

Essentially, there was a study done on small children where the children were placed one at a time in a room with a marshmallow and were told by an adult that if they didn't eat the marshmallow, when the adult returned in 10 minutes, they would receive another marshmallow to eat (so two marshmallows total). I guess some kids didn't even make it through the directions before they were shoving their faces with marshmallowly goodness. Others occupied the 10 minute duration by singing to the marshmallow, licking the bottom and setting it back down, talking to it, and some, well, some just ate it.

Some time after the study, the conductors of the study did a couple of follow up sessions and discovered consistent results among the participants. The ones who ate the marshmallow (the instant gratification kids) had troubled lives, which usually meant divorce, jail time, lower income, etc. The ones who waited (the delayed gratification kids) had consistently better lives, which meant anything from higher education to longer marriages.

So with that said, I kept wondering when the speaker was telling this story, what my own child would do. I mean, she is half me (waits to spend a gift card until I am really, really sure I want something and waits 24 hours before making any major purchases when I see something I want) and half of my husband (can't stand the thought of a gift card burning a hole in his pocket). So I went home that night and decided to see how my daughter reacted to a mini-test. I didn't have marshmallows and she doesn't really like them anyway, so I used Cadbury Mini-eggs instead. Before I could even explain the directions, my just-home-from-gymnastics and wired little girl gobbled the egg up in one gulp! So then I thought "Well, that's okay, she didn't hear the directions and wasn't paying attention when I handed it to her" so I tried again. I set the egg on the table and explained the directions thoroughly to her. I set the timer and decided to start dinner. Two minutes later she had walked away, so I looked over to see how the egg was doing. It was still there, but it had giant chunks of chocolate taken out if it (keep in mind this is an egg smaller than a quarter). The sweet pastel coating had been licked and the faint blue color was all over the kitchen table. Two minutes after that, I looked over to see my daughter with her tongue stuck out as far as it could reach, slowly approaching the top of the egg. That is when I finally gave in and told her to take the egg. I figured out that she was set up to fail and that this wasn't the most scientific of experiments. She was hyper and tired. She was hungry and loves chocolate. Most importantly, she was my own child, so that alone means she wasn't going to do what I said. I think if I had to redo this, I would use another adult to explain the directions and I would choose a location that was more conducive to conducting egg experiments. Oh well! Anyway, it provided a bit of a laugh for our family and my daughter got some chocolate before dinner, so she was happy.

I did realize the importance of teaching delayed gratification to my daughter since she is definitely the princess of our family. I mean, when I lecture my husband for giving into her he says "...but she's cute!" So I think I definitely have my work cut out for me!

More Smiles...

According to the book Bluffer's Guide to Psychology by Warren Mansell (I know, don't ask, I was bored of the music on my iPod, so I listened to Jed Rubenfeld's psychological and somewhat fictional thriller based on Freud's theories of a murder mystery Interpretation of Murder, which led me to search for other such books, which led me here, sort of. So, anyway, keep reading...), Children laugh about 400 times a day, but adults apparently laugh only 18. Today I am sure I have laughed at least 18 times because my coworker is hilarious, but also because my daughter is the most purposefully (and sometimes not so purposefully) funny person I have ever met. So I was wondering if children laugh 400 times and normal adults laugh 18 times, if adults with children don't laugh more than a typical adult? I think you almost have to have a better sense of humor than average to have a child. I mean, anyone who has to stay up all night with a newborn, clean up spit up, throw up, and other such gross stuff has to have some kind of sense of humor.

So this made me wonder if adults with children aren't just more emotional in general than a typical adult. I mean, if children laugh 18 times a day, depending on their age, they also fall down and cry at least that amount. They also cry over toys, losing games, eating peas, etc. So essentially, they are living, breathing emotional roller coasters and I am just wondering if they are taking us along for the emotionally turbulent ride. I know there must be some reason that I am emotionally drained at the end of each day. So, I guess what is truly important is that the laughter outweighs the crying? In other words, there should be more ups in the roller coaster of life, than downs. So far, for me, there are...

Smile and Say Princess!

The Today Show just had a story recently about smiles in childhood photographs in correlation with the likelihood of divorce later on in life. Apparently the more you smiled in your childhood photographs can directly correlate to how well your marriage does. The theory, although there is nothing concrete, is that smiles are contagious and the attitudes of those around people who smile more are impacted for the better.

I thought this was an interesting story mainly for selfish reasons: Recently the new girl at work told another coworker and me that she thought my daughter looked "sad" because of the pictures I have hanging on my bulletin board at my desk. Mind you, she has never met my daughter, so she doesn't know anything different than what she has seen from those pictures. Obviously this is all about perceptions, but I can honestly say this never, ever occurred to me! I love my daughter and her smile, but artistically speaking, the pictures I love the best of her are the less traditional ones. I am soooo not a fan of awkward, cheesy school pictures that look like the child is being forced to smile at gunpoint. I do like pictures with my daughter smiling, but I especially like the ones that show her character, such as her "I am a princess and you should treat me as such" attitude or her fantastic sense of humor. That and it is very near impossible to get a candid picture of her smiling. When I point the camera in her direction, she constantly poses for pictures by doing her "pouty" look, or her "serious" look, or "surprised" look - you get the idea. So I guess, for the sake of her future relationships, we need to work more on her "happy" look. No problem! She has an incredible smile!

Another note on perceptions: I feel like I should have been more aware of how others view my daughter's pictures because this is basic human nature stuff here. For my work, I had to attend one of those personality seminars where they explicitly tell you that some 60% of your results will be what you think, but 40% is based on what other people think. The truth is, whether or not we like it, perception is everything. No matter what we see in ourselves, it does no good unless that is the image we are portraying to the outside world - often it is not. Often, we think we are this fantastic person that everyone should love, but in actuality we have idiosyncrasies that people really do notice. I can't speak for myself, because I am perfect (kidding, only kidding), but I work with people who definitely think they are much more agreeable and easygoing than they actually are. Anyway, it's all about perceptions and I am going to try my best to be more aware in the future!

The Power of Words...

So I was on the way to work this morning when the song "Creep" by Radiohead came on the radio. I was listening to a fairly edgy station, well, for public radio and I suddenly had a realization that I don't listen to normal radio that often. My husband has Sirius and I am usually listening to my iPod, kids CD's, or language CD's for my daughter, so I just don't really have the opportunity to listen to "normal" radio that often. Anyway...the point that I am trying to make is that while listening I noticed the radio station bleeped out the "F" word (Does Blogger let you say that word? Not sure) and I suddenly had an epiphany about language: We have the power to let language and words affect us. What if we just let people say the "F" word and other such words. Wouldn't these words lose their potency after awhile and, in turn, wouldn't these words lose the power they have over us? Why do we jolt when someone utters a swear word? Don't those "jolts" simply highlight the fact that these words have so much power in our language, which in turn allows the user of the words to have that much more of an impact on us?

I mean don't get me wrong, I swear my fair share, it's just that this fleeting thought I had about the power of language led to another thought about how this is true for a lot of things in life. The more we give in to these tactics that are designed to shock us, the more the "Shockers" will continue to get their kicks at our expense. For example, look at the way the media manipulates so many people into paranoia just for ratings. Or, what about teeny bop magazines that make little girls think they are less than perfect if they don't look like Taylor Swift? As long as we continue to let people get in our heads, they will. I mean, we might as well clean out some space in the insecure part of our brains and say "Hey, welcome, come on in." Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we as individuals or even as a culture allow people to impact how we think of ourselves and at what point are we going to take away the power others have over us? Another thing... What can we do to change this epidemic seeping into the minds of people all over the world? Sadly, I don't know... I guess I have some thinking to do...we all do. In the mean time, I recently rediscovered a relatively simple solution from my five-year-old daughter: "I'm rubber you're glue, what ever you say bounces off me and sticks to you." I mean, I can't really see saying this out loud to anyone, but there's nothing wrong with thinking it. It could be a secret mental inside joke used to repel negative thoughts. Who knows, it just might work!

Fear: Just Do it

Okay, so I was given an assignment by my Brief professor and was a bit anxious about it, so I relayed these fears to my professor in an e-mail. His response: "Please see the following link," which led to an Amazon.com page featuring the book Feel the Fear...and Do it Anyway by Susan Jeffers. It was a brief counselor's very brief way of telling me to get over myself. I laughed out loud at the e-mail because he is right. I mean , it's not that simple, but he is still right. I mean, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?

So with that said... Sometimes the things that run through my mind don't make a lot of sense, but yet they still keep me awake at night. I guess that's what happens when a person has insomnia! Anyway... Recently I was thinking about what someone said about genetics and how everyone on earth at this moment got here because our ancestors were a little bit sharper than the rest of the pack, but then I was wondering where we are headed in a world that is changing to less caveman and club your dinner over the head to a world full of computer techies and corporate meetings. For example, there are a lot of people who are afraid of heights, right? This makes sense because being afraid of high places is your body's natural instinct to not want to fall down and die, but then, how (if natural selection got these people this far) are there people who are not afraid of heights? So I was thinking that these are the people who are willing to take risks and therefore discovered new lands, new foods, new medicines, etc. So you have these people who are here because they didn't fall off a cliff, but also because others were willing to take a chance and lived to tell about it. So with the new world as it is, the number one fear is a fear of public speaking. Is this a relatively new fear? I mean, clearly there were not public speeches being held amongst the cavemen and dinosaurs. Even the cowboys, who may have had public speeches, probably weren't timid about getting up in front of groups, picturing their audience in their underwear. So where did this fear come from? How do we as a collective group develop a new fear, just like that? It happens though. I mean, for a more obvious development of a new fear, look at World War II. People were building bomb shelters, having bomb drills in schools, placing innocent people in concentration camps, etc. It was fear and mostly likely fear that hadn't existed previously, but this had precipitating events that led to these fear. Public speaking fears just sort of popped up somewhere along the lines. I wonder...I bet some historian out there knows the answer, but until then, I just thought it was interesting...

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Another thing that crossed my mind today was how the DJ's on the radio were talking about the website DontDateHimGirl.com. I don't know anyone on this site, but I thought it was interesting hearing all of the callers talk about their previous relationships who they have posted on here. It's kind of sad actually because it kind of tarnishes people's reputations, but at the same time, it makes me wonder how awful these people must have treated these women to want to put this person on here. Anyway, interesting stuff...

What I have learned from podcasts...this week:

As usual I have been busy, but I am able to listen to podcasts while driving or working out, so here is what I have learned this week, which mostly came from Oprah:

According to Rabbi Shmuley:
60% have the television on during dinner
70% of people answer the phone during dinner

• My husband does both of these things and I didn't grow up this way, so we are learning to meet somewhere in the middle. The studies done regarding families who eat at the table are astounding, so this is something that is important to me. I don't think he understands what the big deal is, but he plays along anyway. So Rabbi Shmuley has a campaign to make Friday family night, but I think just about any night will work. We use Friday as family movie night, but Shmuley seems opposed to any kind of TV or movies on this family night as well, so I think I will try for Sunday night instead. Friday is Family Night

The Coupon Mom was on Oprah's podcast as well. Some of the following sites were from a recent episode of the Today Show as well as from the Mighty Mommy podcast, but Coupon Mom's site seems to be mentioned a lot, so I think I will check them out. I haven't yet. Some sites let you register your frequent shopper card to get extra coupons:

• Couponmom.com
• smartsource.com
• coolsavings.com
• coupons.com
• shortcuts.com
• thegrocerygame.com

Another thing I learned about from Oprah was getting rid of waste and reducing the amount of trash you use, which is important when we have limited resources, so one interviewee suggested this site: http://www.freecycle.org/groups/unitedstates/ for getting rid of clutter and allowing others to reuse the things we don't use any more. One book I just read (Maurer: One Small Step that Can Change Your Life) talks about the Kaizen theory. Essentially I learned that one way to make a change is to think small. Due to our biological make-up, human beings are programmed to react with a fight or flight mechanism when they are given a daunting task to do or if they are confronted with anything their brains might categorize as being dangerous. The Kaizen technique recommends tiptoeing around this area of the brain (the amygdala) by using small changes to a new behavior. One particular method or example that stood out for me was the method of throwing away the first bite of a dessert in order to slowly stop eating as much. I also liked the idea of having the waiter put half of your food into a to-go container so you do not even know what you are missing, as well as the resolution exercises; specifically the one that talked about saving a dollar a day, which would eventually total $365 a year! Back to getting rid of waste though... the interviewee on the podcast talked about how you can just start with one thing, such as water bottles. One place to start is by buying the metal canteens from places like Target instead of buying water bottles. I did this a few years ago and have found that I am addicted to my canteen/water bottle now and can't leave home without it. I have also noticed such a huge reduction in my recycle bins just from bottles alone and I don't have to carry those bottles home to recycle anymore (although my work has added bins now too!).

Another guest talked about this site: ToyTips.com. She is a psychology/marketing major, so she has come up with a practical website regarding toys. I haven't checked this one out yet either.

Learning the Ropes:

I have always hated journaling because I always have so much to tell that I feel overwhelmed by the thought of writing it all out, so I just put it off. By the time I get around to finally writing my thoughts down, it becomes a novel. This has happened recently to me with this blog. I have had a ton of really fascinating (well in my opinion at least) things going on, but no time to tell it all, so I have just given up on telling anything! I do want to get my thoughts out though, just so they are not floating around in my head. Here are some...

Recently I went on vacation (which I may or may not talk about later), which was fun, but I also spent a portion of my spring break doing the ropes course to fulfill a requirement for one of my classes. This was a bit of a painful experience for me, but also enjoyable. The first day I was a bit jet lagged from my trip still and I had a poor attitude because of it, but I am hopeful this did not come across too much in our activities. We were able to climb the rock wall, which is something I love doing anyway, so I had fun. I went home though seeing flashes of swirling lights and felt nauseous, so I told my husband I was having a mini-stroke. He was less than sympathetic and told me I was too young to have a mini-stroke, so I resolved myself to simply laying in front of the television and watching kid movies with my daughter. Saturday I was feeling much more enthusiastic, but I still secretly hate get-to-know-you games, so I was actually happy to get to the 25-foot-tall ropes course.

Initially, we started Saturday morning by walking in and having ribbon handcuffs slapped onto us and intertwined with another person and were told to find our way out without letting the cuffs slip off our wrists. We finally figured out the trick (think small circles for anyone who is ever in this situation) and got out. We then had to figure out how to get eight of us across this small terrain by only using some small tools and three beams of wood. This took awhile and I felt really, really ignored by the team, but I was not alone. Here's the thing: I hate these exercises because the most logical people (I am not saying this is me!) are not always the ones in charge (just like life, right?). I am not saying the people who were leading us in the exercise weren't logical, but what a true leader knows is "the more input the better." Too often leaders don't ask they just do. So after we had gotten across the terrain the facilitator fixed the beams in a way that made our long drawn out process seem silly and inefficient. Oh well.

This is kind of how being in this group of classmates feels to me. I feel invisible and ignored a lot, but I am getting kind of used to this (sadly! ) and I am trying to not take it personally. My self-esteem has definitely been knocked down a few notches since I have started grad school! I was a little bit happy at the end of the day when the facilitator actually pointed this out to the group. She said I was "logical" and that things may have been easier if the group had listened to me. Seriously? I don't think anyone has ever stood up for me like that; even if it did make me want to crawl into a hole from embarrassment. I am sort of glad she acknowledged my feelings because I didn't feel as depressed afterwards! Okay, I will stop whining because I sound like a baby. LOL

Anyway... So the actual ropes course was fun, but a little disheartening. I am not scared of heights in the least, so I was really excited about doing the course; yet, when I got up there I was not as (for lack of better words) as good as I thought I would be! I mean, I am not a trapeze artist, but I thought I would breeze through it, but it turns out I have zero balancing skills, so I found myself kind of nervous about falling and slapping my head against a piece of wood. In my defense, it was pretty windy up there as well. I muddled through though and found myself agreeing at the end to jump off the platform on a giant swing, which was the best part! The swing actually makes you feel as though you will be yanked forward off the platform, but the facilitator told me to jump off to the right. I must admit I asked the facilitator like three times "Are you sure that I just jump off here? Really? You're sure? I won't hit my head?" I was never an expert at physics, but she tried to convince me to jump by telling me that the centrifugal force would actually drive me to the right and then lunge me forward and she was right, so it's all good! ; ) That was seriously fun and I would do that again a million times over. After awhile of watching the second group I also had myself convinced I would do the course again as well!

So all-in-all the experience was a good one and I am glad that I did it. I wish I had been there with my sister though because I know her and I would have had a blast and she would have been a huge support. Plus, she is a crazy daredevil!

Bartering:

Okay, so I am the absence of talent in any shape or form (except for the fact that I know how to make a balloon animal or two, I have no special gifts), but I recently heard the coolest idea for my gifted friends out there with special skills...this means you "J" and "sis" and well, pretty much everyone I know except me! I even have some ideas for my mom! See below:

There was a feature on the Today Show recently about how there has been a significant increase in the use of bartering and websites such as CraigsList.com that allow people to buy and sell things, but they have also seen an increase in actually exchanging one service for another. So those who can no longer afford special "treats" like having your nails done, for example, can now exchange a manicure for something like the design of a new website for the manicurist's salon. Another example might be someone who sells a certain product exchanging that product for say having a shelf built in his or her basement for free. How about this one? A person could exchange errand running (for someone insanely busy such as myself) for a product or service they want as well. Everyone can run an errand. So, if you are going to the grocery store, why not offer to pick up your neighbor's grocery's in exchange for him or her fixing that broken lawn mower, or something to that effect? So my friend is a cosmetologist and my sister does website design, so maybe they can get something really good in exchange for those things? The one woman they interviewed talked about how she had exchanged art for plastic surgery, trips to foreign countries, etc. Or maybe they can exchange with one another! Anyway, here are some sites they recommended:

Websites that can aid in bartering as suggested by the Today Show:
youexchange.com
favorpals.com
swaptree.com
friendlyfavor.com

http://www.msnbc.msn..com/id/29407653/

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On a personal note: Things have been good at school and at work (well, for the most part). I have been making some progress on my goal of sleeping researching sleep habits, etc. and by getting only three hours two nights ago. Okay, except for that last part I have been making progress. I went to a party at one of the people in my cohort's house and it was actually really fun. I had to leave early and really didn't want to! Other than that, not much else is going on. My daughter was in the paper for one of the local Dr Seuss reading week's events. That was exciting for her. The new girl started at my work and seems nice. Okay, if I am going to get to bed early I should at least try to eat dinner before 10:00!

Oscar Predictions?

For Oscar night I thought I would talk about Nate Silver. I have been watching Nate Silver on Countdown for awhile now and I am quite impressed by his incredible ability to predict the outcome of almost anything (although he is famous for baseball); especially the results of elections! So I am super curious about how accurate his predictions for the Oscars will be this Sunday! Here's the thing: I couldn't care less about the Oscars and haven't seen like 95% of the movies that are up for awards because I spend most of my time watching movies a five-year-old can watch, but I am actually looking forward to the results simply because of this one man and his incredible statistical analysis skills. So, we'll see!

Article

Lately...

Since I haven't posted much lately I thought I would just use this opportunity to do a quick recap of what has been going on in my life. I am taking a class right now on performing group-work and one in solution-focused therapy. I got to "play" client a few times now and learned some interesting things about myself that I want to share.

First of all, I was talking to my sister last night about how we were raised with this need to keep big news a secret because we don't want to "jinx" anything. She thinks we learned this from our father because, for example, he bought this fantastic home on the water and didn't tell a soul until the deal was complete and he had one foot in the door. So, with that said, I had this exciting, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity come up for my work recently and I was the same way - I didn't want to tell anyone (well, okay I told me best bud, my sis, and my can't keep a secret to save his life husband who blabbed my surprise to the world practically, but anyway... that's another story!). So a friend at work came up to me and said "I know how you feel, but I sure hope you can get over yourself long enough so you can fully appreciate this moment" which was a red flag to me that I do get so caught up in superstition and worry that I do forget to "get over myself." So that is a new goal of mine, but baby steps because I am still not going to talk about my exciting event, but mostly because I have like zero details at the moment and I would like to wait until things are more concrete.

Second, I have been motivated through a Prochaska book I have been reading to set a bunch of new goals for myself. For example, I learned that my not getting more than 5-6 hours sleep is not totally in my control. I never get off of work on time, I have school (which is in my control), I have all of these errands to do every night, I have a million other things that keep me busy until 11-12 at night; so with that said, a significant part of my problem lies in the fact that (1) I don't get off work on time and (2) I can't ever get my daughter to bed before 9:30. So last night after school I put my foot down (yeah right) and she was asleep by 8:00, which was my new goal. Of course, she is getting over a cold and I had no say in what time she was going to bed because she was exhausted, but what I did learn is that I was able to get much school work more done at an earlier time and thus I was in bed by 10:30. Of course, my new bed time goal is 10:30, which means sleeping, and instead I played with my iPod ordering stuff online until 11:30, but hey, it's a step! Meanwhile, I have developed other goals, such as stop drinking coffee, stop biting my lip when I am nervous, exercise more, and to learn to be more relaxed with clients in sessions. Since I led group this last week, I feel I am at least one step closer to that last goal since I didn't keel over from anxiety. It actually went somewhat okay!

Speaking of which, my group class has been kind of fun actually. We are taking turns leading small groups and because we are new at this whole thing, we get to ask fun questions like "If you could invite five people to dinner, living or dead, who would they be?" It helped that I have a "Book of Questions" to gain some ideas. I love that stuff anyway, so this has been extra fun learning about my classmates. BTW: The Book of Questions is like $6 and it is a blast on road trips because it has you ask questions like "If you could go back in time and change something, but couldn't guarantee things would remain the same, would you?" Or, "Would you accept one million dollars to pull the wings off of a butterfly, would you?" This is a disturbing question that should only be asked of significant others if you are really prepared for any answer you may get. Anyway... I love my particular group as well because they are all super nice. : )

Anything else? Hmmm... Well, we are searching for kindergartens for my daughter and who knew what a project that could be?! Sheesh! One school lets you know in August and asks for a ton of money up front per school that is registered and they make you go in person to each school, all in one day. The other doesn't want you to show up, doesn't charge anything, and lets you register for as many as you want. The third choice had a 19-page application that asked some very intrusive questions. You know they are too intrusive when half the questions they ask you don't even know the answer to (That's a long story)! So, the whole process of choosing "the right" school has been challenging to say the least. I moved around a lot growing up, so I want to find one place for my daughter and keep her there as long as possible, but there is so much to consider: International Baccalaureate schools vs. charter schools, core knowledge vs. public, sports vs. multi cultural curriculum, part-time vs. full-time, base camp, uniforms, location, money, Smart Boards, computer labs, libraries, after school care, after school curriculum, after school arts, ratings on GreatSchools.net, where my daughter's best friend will be going, waiting lists... AGGGHHH! Plus, keep in mind, all of this has to be done a year in advance! I know it sounds silly, but seriously, I went to 12 schools by the time I graduated and none of them felt like home to me because everyone else had a history with one another.

So lastly, on a political note - what the heck is up with that Washington Post cartoon with an ape, regarding the stimulus? Are they for real? You can't tell me that Travis the chimp really has any direct correlation to the stimulus. I mean clearly that is racist and should have never made it past the editor's desk - not in a million years. Then they print an apology, but it was more of an apology a little kid would give to another on the playground after their parent forced them into it. I mean, these are educated and worldly people so they must have, at some point, thought that someone might think they were making a direct reference to the historical racial depiction of apes being similar to African American people, right? So let's see: The artist and the editor saw an ape, violence, and politics all tied into one cartoon and felt that was appropriate for their readers? Really? I think someone needs to recheck the tactfulness filter in their brain. It's just sad.

Okay, enough rambling for now!

Warm Fuzzy Story

Wow, I have been really inattentive to this blog! The thing is... I thought I would have more time this semester because I dropped a class, but I actually seem to have less! I think it's because my Brief Counseling class is so brutal. I mean I love it, but it's a lot of work. For example, I have to read two full-size books in addition to my four other text books for just that class. Then we have journals, article reviews, etc. Anyway, enough whining! ;)

Warm Fuzzy news of the day: I thought for my post I would share some news I heard on the Rachel Maddow show Wednesday (Feb. 18, 2009). Rachel talked about a great moment in high school basketball: Two Wisconsin high schools (DeKalb High School and Madison High School) recently played a game against one another (which is fairly normal stuff of course). The catch of this story comes when one of the players from Madison showed up for a game to play, but he wasn't on the roster because he had lost his mom to cancer that same day so, well, obviously no one expected him to show up. The penalty for someone playing the game without being on the official roster would be two free throws for the other team (DeKalb). The other team decided they did not want the technical fouls, but the ref decided that these must be taken. So what did DeKalb do? They had their player Darius McNeal purposefully botch the shots in order to not get the extra points against Madison. How great is that? See, there are decent people still left in the world!

Article about the game

Just Be Yourself...

I was listening to the Oprah Spirituality podcast and was relieved to hear them discussing what Michael Bernard Beckweth calls the "Friction of fiction." Over the years, the biggest conflicts I have had have been with people who aren't real. No, I'm not talking about imaginary people; I am talking about people who live with a facade around them and who are afraid to let others see the real them.

Previously I had trouble with a coworker who would constantly tell me how great her kids were, how perfect her life was, how fantastic she was every day, but it was insincere. How do I know it was insincere? Well, first of all, people aren't perfect. Anyone dealing with someone like this should just tell themselves that straightaway. Forget their intimidating nature and ways. Set aside your feelings of inadequacy and doubt. Tell yourself "People aren't perfect." I think too, if they were, they probably wouldn't flaunt it like these other people do. After all, there's nothing perfect about boasting about oneself. How else do I know? One day I asked her how her night was and she said "Great!" and then proceeded to break down into tears. See, that's the problem with living like this...eventually you'll snap. As with any person who is living a lie, you can only "act" for so long and then the real you will become transparent. That's what I have to tell myself when I have a boss that can't do the job: "No problem, she will slip up."

Anyway, I think Elizabeth Lesser said it best when she said these people do the rest of the world an injustice because we let people think there is something wrong with them, when in reality imperfection is normal. Elizabeth went on to say something like "It is the most ironic, strange thing that it takes so much courage to be authentic." I love the way her mind works. She is a guru. Besides, how happy can you be when you are not able to be yourself. It sounds like a catch 22 when you are happiest by having the freedom to be miserable, but I believe it's true!

Additionally, I liked the way Michael Bernard Beckweth talked about asking oneself during crises "What is this crisis trying to teach me?" He said that a crisis is a question trying to ask itself." Like "What is the universe or God trying to teach me?" Another thing he said: "We don't solve our problems, we outgrow them." I think this is so true. It's like a child learning to crawl, walk, talk, etc. Those things are no longer issues for them and they move onto new issues. There will always be new issues and when they arrive, the only way we will get through is by asking ourselves what we can learn.

Anyway, I really enjoyed this spirituality podcast and feel I learned a lot from it. Just wanted to share!

The Birds are Singing Again...

I would like for this blog to be able to capture the feel of yesterday's achievements and events so that I can print it out and give it to my daughter some day. I want her to understand the feeling and importance of what she has lived through; although I suspect that the task of capturing the moment is next to impossible. With a brother-in-law coming home this last week and a sister who can finally feel whole again, a new president in the White House, and something as minor as a new day of a new semester of school, I feel great...for today.

The election of the 44th president of the United States was definitely an experience of a lifetime. Much more than simply feeling the excitement from the crowd of millions who watched the inauguration of the first African American president, the world felt good again. As one of my husband's friends said "The birds were chirping once again." Of course they were chirping before too, but I think it was hard to appreciate the good when we were smothered in the doom and gloom of the economy, war, and an administration that didn't seem to care what the majority of the people wanted to do with our money or our lives for that matter. Yesterday, though, felt like a new day.

Since I had to work yesterday I watched the inauguration from my office door on a television that was 10 feet away in another room, but at least I was able to watch. I was glad too because I loved seeing all the people who were gathered and the fantastic speech from our new president. I especially liked all of the happy text messages I received from friends and family moments later. Even my own mother said "Praise God we have a new leader." Maybe George Bush wasn't as bad as all of this makes him sound. Maybe he is a scape goat for years of greed building up to what seemed to be a never ending and depressing regime, but most likely he does have some responsibility for what has occurred over the last eight years, right? To listen to him, however, he does not believe in bringing work home, being remorseful about the past, or feeling sorry for himself. He could at least muster up the energy to be empathetic to those lives that he was in charge of over the last few years and how he has impacted them. So whenever I feel bad for him, I think of last week's press conference and then I feel okay with the cheers from a crowd singing "Na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye..." as he flew away. Would I have done that? No, but I do understand. You see, by not accepting any responsibility, it became easy for the public to give him all of it. Yesterday wasn't about him though, it was about hope and change, which is what we need.

I saw speeches and interviews from some of the most amazing and influential people (Colin Powell, a member of the Arkansas nine, a person who was an informant against the KKK in the 60's, and more) who were equally ecstatic and none of them did the historic moments of yesterday justice. When my daughter and I watched the Disney kids' inaugural ball that we had taped from the night before, we laughed, we danced, and watched the first kids have a blast and I thought to myself "This would be a different moment if the election outcome had turned out differently." I don't even want to pause on the thought of it because it just saddens me that we came so close.

This day did not get by, however, without the occasional naysayer or even the occasional racist. For example, I came in to my e-mail at work this morning only to see a racist e-mail from a coworker.... I awoke to MSN's ticker tape online of mostly good wishes littered with pessimism and hate from what I am guessing are the minority of Republicans who cannot fully appreciate the good fortune of a Democrat, even when it is such a historic celebration.... I talked to my husband who took uh, a relative to the airport with his wife and a couple of friends who preceded to spew racist remarks and words, even though they knew my husband, who sat in the car with his Barack Obama "Hope" shirt on, clearly did not agree with this behavior. Why? Are they better? Do they have a degree from Columbia and Harvard? Do they have even half of the foreign policy knowledge our new leadership holds? Do they have a plan to make things right with the economy, health care, the world??? My guess is no, they do not.

I get so frustrated watching people tear people down; yet never do anything to contribute to making the world a better place. How simple it must be to sit back and criticize others, not on their merit, but on their skin color, class, looks, etc. These are the individuals that take a day that is infused with excitement, achievement, and history, and pepper that day with blemishes of human flaws and setbacks. They take what the rest of us look at as a giant step forward and bring us back to reality by forcing us see exactly how much further we as a society have to go. I hear so often that "People of that generation don't know any better," but from what I know of human nature and our intrinsic ability to know right from wrong, even 50, 100, 200 years ago we as human beings knew better than to treat our fellow man the way we have seen people treated. You can't tell me that, having lived back then, I would have accepted the mistreatment and deaths of other human beings as "Part of our culture." I just wouldn't have. People knew, they simply chose to ignore what they knew was right. It wasn't okay then and it is less okay now, whether you were raised that way or not. At some point these individuals inner conscience and intelligence should have kicked in and told them that what they are doing, or saying, was hurtful and wrong. Are these individuals simply afraid of change? Do they think if they hang onto their old values and beliefs that they will somehow be able to hold onto their youth? The way things were? A simpler life? I can't say.

I realize that Obama is not going to be able to save the world; nor should we expect him to; however, I do love the feeling of inspiration that seems to be spreading like a contagious disease that is good. I love that the country has made a step forward, but understand (as one interviewee I saw out it) that we cannot become complacent because we think this is the end of an era of progress. This is only the beginning. So, onto my hopes for a day where women will be given the same privilege and respect that all men have had the chance to experience. A day where I can tell my daughter that if she works hard enough, anything she aspires to be is a possibility. We have seen it once, we can see it again. I just know it.

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With that said... What I have learned from my first day of my new semester at school: I am currently taking a group therapy class for grad school, which coincidentally gave me some insight into the leadership of a country. A person/leader of a group has a better chance of making headway through the act of inclusion. Meaning... the less polarized a group is, the more the group will be able to accomplish. Through partisan tactics, such as the ones we have seen over the past eight years, the previous leader has managed to throw a kink into the system, causing all progress to halt. By instilling fear in people, people have been less motivated to reach out to others, spend money, and to generally make any kind of progress. When everyone in the group feels welcome, the more likely the members are to reach out to others, take part in the progress, and share information with all sides. Items in groups that don't work well are ones that have manipulators, large distractions, a negative feel, and leaders without focus, which is interesting because that is exactly what went wrong with McCain's campaign. There was no cohesiveness to his group and even less in the people he was trying to inspire.

I think that is what worked so well with Obama. I was at a rally with 100,000 other people and the group had a great feel. The atmosphere was positive and inspired, which is exactly what I want to see out of our country. That same feeling was described all over the D.C area yesterday as well. So one can see how he was able to win votes! When you are part of a really good group, you want to see fellow members succeed, and even more so, you want to be able to be a part of the success. I think that is why groups like Habitat for Humanity work so well. There is a positive feel, yet people aren't getting any monetary compensation. People pitch in because they know they are doing good in the world and there is inspiration in making a difference in another person's life. I am glad we finally (hopefully!) have someone in office who seems to understand the value of teamwork and community involvement.

Sappy Little Me

I know I have talked about this before, but since my daughter was a baby we have spent many nights dancing together in her room to fun CD's. Well, awhile ago I purchased an 80's music CD with really cheesy music on it (but hey it's fun to dance to!). Anyway, today my daughter and I were dancing away to fun 80's songs like "Footloose" and that song that says something like "Get out of my dreams and into my car" in her room when I had a sappy mom moment. The song that set me off was that Rod Stewart song "Forever Young." I don't know what it is... I have heard that song a million times (and truth be told, I've never much liked it!), but today it just made me so, so sad. We were just dancing, laughing and giggling, when that song came on and my eyes started welling up and the next thing I knew I was looking into my daughter's beautiful blue eyes and my eyes just started leaking tears! My sweet daughter naturally asked what was wrong and then used her sleeve to wipe my tears away. I just told her the song just made me realize how much I love her and this seemed to pacify her (probably because she is used to her overly sentimental mom - extra emphasis on the mental).

I think this started last night when I was driving home from working on a Saturday (I don't normally work weekends), after working 12 hours of overtime this last week. This was the last week of freedom I have before I go back to grad school this week and I was thinking about how I longed to be home relaxing with my daughter, but instead I was working. We spent the morning walking my school's campus, checking out squirrels, and balancing on fountain walls and I didn't want it to end. So on the way home from dinner with my sister and her family in a nearby town, everyone was asleep except me (since I was driving and all!) and I was passing all of these playgrounds along the way. I then started thinking about how there is such little time left where my daughter will want to spend time with me, go to parks with me, and dance with me. Ugh, see, I am tearing up just thinking about it!

So back to the song... It's not completely my fault! I am convinced that song is designed to make parents depressed. I mean lyrics like "May the good lord be with you down every road you roam and may sunshine and happiness surround you when you're far from home" and "And when you finally fly away Ill be hoping that I served you well. For all the wisdom of a lifetime no one can ever tell" are pretty much designed to bring out feelings of guilt and despair aren't they? That dang Rod Stewart! Who does he think he is anyway? The idea of my daughter "Flying away" just brings images to my mind that I never want to think about. I want to see her grow and thrive, but at the same time, I love the age she is now and wish I could just hold her in my arms and cuddle with her during movies on the couch forever and ever too. I know I will learn to love every phase of her life, but this one in particular has just been so fun and special. I hate to think of it being a distant memory someday. So for now I guess I will just enjoy the time we do have and try to annoy her with my endless photo taking until I have every second well documented so when she is "far from home" someday I can pull out those photographs and cherish the good times we spent together. Hopefully there will be more good times and less of me sobbing about her growing up before my very eyes in her room while she stares at me like I am a crazy person.

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Another little side story. My husband's friend was over today and my husband was telling him how she came downstairs and used the new all-in-one remote he just got to turn on his overly complicated television by herself. So I asked her "What did you watch?" and what did she say? "The news." Not just like "Hey, it was the only thing on" but more like "Uh, the news. I mean I had my coffee and croissant, so what else would I watch?" It was just cute, but really hard to explain in just the right way where someone other than her parents would think is funny. Anyway...

Suspicious of Happy People::

I realized today that I suspicious of overly happy people. I was at my work (a hospital) where an older gentleman smiled at me. In a place of employment where it is common to smile or say "Hi" at every individual you pass in the hallway, normally this kind of friendly behavior is nothing to be suspicious of. Even shy and reserved little old me says "Hi" to perfect strangers all day; however, this particular individual did not just smile but hung in there for a longer, lingering smile - staring almost, with a smile plastered on his face. So what do I do? Instantly the insecure and paranoid person in me dashed into the nearby restroom because I was certain that he must have an ulterior motive for smiling. I checked myself in the mirror because I was positive I had chocolate smeared on my face or my zipper was undone, but of course there was nothing wrong with me, well, ascetically anyway. I mean, clearly I have mental issues if a smile could make me this paranoid.

I know it's strange, but I have always been naturally suspicious and cynical. I am not sure why either, except that my father seems a bit cynical and my mother was the type of person who gave a person a reason to be cynical and suspicious of others. After all, my father always said my mom could sell ice to Eskimos (okay, that's probably not the most PC thing to say, but it's true). My father on the other hand, well, he is the kind of person who is suspicious of Democrats because he seems to believe that they have some kind of ulterior motive for wanting "Hope" or "Change." I discovered this recently when I received an anti-Democrat e-mail featuring trick-or-treaters that said the person was going to "Spread the wealth" of candy amongst those who were trick-or-treating and those who were sitting on their butts at home too lazy to leave the house; therefore, one kid called the man a socialist. I think this was the first time I realized that even my father has faults. One of them is that he votes for people who are incapable of speaking in a competent manner in public, but that's another topic...

Anyway... So, I was thinking about this and realized that we (my sister and I) may be to blame for his cynicism and fear of being used. I remembered all the times where my sister or I would congregate in the hallway where one of us would eventually lose out in a batter where we would be forced to take my dad's shoes to him and say something like "Hey dad, you're the best." At which point he would say "What do you want?" We would then convince him he needed to make a trip to the store for ice cream. This tactic always seemed effective though, but not because he fell for our manipulations as much as he has a weakness for ice cream.

So back to the smiling stranger: He was probably a very nice person, but there is just something about someone who pauses outside of an elevator to smile at someone for a longer than reasonable amount of time, but mostly what I realized is that I am the one with the problem; especially considering the man with the smile is long gone and probably hasn't given me a second thought. Although, he may be out there somewhere wondering why the lady at the hospital darted so quickly into the restroom after he looked at her and smiled. Who knows... The point is that I need to try to look at the world with rose colored glasses more often if I am ever going to be one of those eternally blissful people I am always so envious of in my cohort. I think, no I know, my cynicism is getting in the way of that.

Lessons Learned in 2008: Here's to 2009

Okay, so I have been a negligent blogger the last few weeks, months. How long has it been? Things have been crazy with holiday parties, work, school finals, children, etc. Anyway, for the last part of the year I thought I would summarize a few things I have learned. Well, other than the obvious things like politics make people mean, people don't really research who they vote for, politicians are all seedy swindlers anyway, and wow, our government really doesn't have as big of a clue about what is truly going on with things like, well, the economy and other such matters as one might think. I guess Harrison Ford and James Bond movies have given me an unrealistic idea of how smooth these people actually are, anyway...

1) Even a five-year-old can pick up on the psychotic nature of others and they can be resourceful in helping someone cope with said psychotic disorder.

• I was driving my daughter to meet my husband for lunch when I got a block away from the house and realized I was unsure if I closed the garage door. My OCD kicked in and I was driven by some unseen force to turn the car around and double check my absentminded oversight. My daughter then suggested that in the future I use my cell phone camera to take a picture of the garage door every time I leave the house so that I know for a fact I closed it and then I will not inconvenience anyone with a less than scenic and repetitive return trip just to look at a garage door. Of course, she didn't say these exact words, but I knew.... In all fairness to me, this is not something I do a lot... maybe once every six months... Is that a lot? Maybe it is... Anyway, I have learned through the years that I am not alone with this mental condition as I now have a mini club of people with garage door closure obsessions. Now, a normal person might ask "Would it be that big of a deal if the garage door was up? I mean, what would really happen in the couple of hours you were away?" I am, however, not normal as one might have gathered through these blogs. Ever since I was pregnant with my daughter I have had this obsession with the garage door. I was really forgetful when I was pregnant, so I often found myself turning the car around to see if I had closed the garage door, which brings me to another revelation on my part...

2) I am annoyingly visual.

• In the garage door instance, my issues begin with the mere thought of a garage door being left open and then move into visions of my cute, but really clueless black labs getting out through the inside door leading to the garage that didn't close quite right that has been blown open by the rampant winds in my state and then the dogs getting out of the door at just the right moment where the wind shoves the door open and then running through the streets of my neighborhood like the many other dogs I have stumbled upon through the years . You know, the kind of dogs that actually walk down the middle of the road and are completely oblivious that your ginormous car is right behind them on their heels... So the minute I think of that I just have to go back and check. It's not just the dogs though. My sister and I were talking about our overactive imaginations the other day. Little things set me off: If someone just mentions lasik eye surgery I want to gag or the whole Sarah Palin turkey incident was enough to make me sick. I mean, I know they blurred out the whole slaughter thing, but that doesn't help me think of the poor little turkey who is probably thinking "Hey lady, why don't you stop rambling and get over here and help me! What the heck are you rambling on about anyway???"

3) Something minor I have learned this year: Just because someone has the title "Master" at a hair salon doesn't mean you will get a good haircut. Additionally, just because you pay a lot of money for a haircut doesn't mean it will be good, nor does it mean they will treat you well.

4) The "bee people" video reference from the old Blind Melon song actually comes up more than one would think in normal conversation. Plus, sadly, I still have not discovered mine despite my new grad school affiliation (a reference only my sister and few others may actually comprehend, but it's still a lesson nonetheless!).

5) I am a sympathetic crier and even games that depict the nature of clicks and segregation in schools make me feel bad, even when I am not the one that had to wear the single pick dot on my forehead.

• This one I will explain: There was a demonstration in one of my classes where a girl had us stand in a circle and close our eyes. She preceded to give us each a colored dot on our foreheads and then told us to open our eyes and "Find where we belong." Everyone paired with their groups despite not knowing which color we actually had on our forehead, leaving the single pink dot lady out on her own. : ( Sad day... Anyway, one girl from another group embraced her and brought her in, but I couldn't help thinking how totally hurt I would feel if that had been me! The whole point of the exercise was to show how ostracizing people can feel and to show that we naturally put people in groups even though no one told us to separate by color. She simply said "Find where you belong." My friend "J" had a similar demonstration in one of her classes only they had "titles" or something and one girl's said "Ignore me" or something similar. I guess the girl got really upset, which would totally be me if I were there! This all reminded me of his kid in junior high that was mentally handicapped who would believe anything anyone said. These one boys in gym one time told him it was Christmas and he was so excited! He went around telling everyone "Merry Christmas!" I just felt so bad for him and always had a tendency to sympathize with the outcasts, maybe because I was one myself I guess. I mean, my parents weren't exactly June and Ward Cleaver. Anyway... I have learned this year that being oversensitive is really inhibiting.

6) Cats are not as easy as everyone says they are.

• What's the deal with that anyway? I mean, they need food, water, brushing, and an amazing amount of attention, just like dogs do. So why does everyone say cats are easy, but you never hear people say dogs are easy. Maybe because they are self-sufficient cleaners of themselves? What's the deal with that though? So they clean themselves with their own spit and that makes them easier? Uhhhh, no. Yucky. Anyway... We got a kitten for my daughter and it attacks me every night in my sleep because she wants to "play" but I really just want to, uh, sleep. My daughter is in 7th heaven though, so I will not rock the boat by putting a damper on her "easy pet" dreams.

...and finally:

7) New Year's Eve is only fun when you are with people who actually want to be out on the town, otherwise it is mostly a hostage situation where you are forcing your victims to watch dancers, listen to bag pipes, watch fireworks, yell, and take late night carriage rides through a sparkling city, while you ring in the new year at home by 11:00 and toasting a sleeping kid and a husband who keeps asking "Can we go to bed yet?"

There's more, but I will leave it at this for now...