People actually do this?

I had never heard of this annual tradition in D.C. before now, but apparently people actually dress in drag and race in high heels around Halloween each year. So, this sounds really strange, but I was thinking that if I lived in a place famous for being saturated with politicians I would probably welcome anything that made me laugh, even if just a little. So these people, who walk in a parade before the race and party afterwards, are almost performing humanitarian efforts for the local D.C. community's sanity (as ironic as it sounds to use drag queen high heel race and sanity in the same paragraph). Maybe every city should start this tradition every year at election time. As one person commented "let's learn to take ourselves less seriously" and I couldn't agree more!

Article

Be more like Oprah?

You know I like to get on here and write because it clears my mind, but man, I have been super busy over the last well, forever... Anyway, here are a few of the things that have been running through my head:

• Living Oprah - I love the idea of this blog because it is thought-provoking, but also it is really, really creative! This woman has spent the last year "Living Oprah" in that she buys or does anything that Oprah says "you must" do this, buy this, or whatever. She has kept a blog about her social experiment for the last year as well. Recently I thought of this woman because I saw a preview for Oprah's show last Friday where the commercial said something like "Find out what new gadget Oprah says you must have." It turns out that gadget is the Amazon.com's $300 Kindle book reader-thingy, which I only know because I got on her blog, finally, and found out that Oprah actually sent her a Kindle that day as a gift, but the woman sent it back! She said she decided when she began this social experiment that she would not take any financial help. I think that is smart because taking it from Oprah may create a bias in her experiment; although it would be really tough giving up a $300 gift from Oprah! : ( Anyway, it is pretty interesting to see how much advice Oprah doles out each day: LivingOprah.com
  
• I recently did some training to be a mentor for peer groups for high school kids that are giving presentation on sexual assault awareness (wow that was a mouthful!). Anyway, the day-long training went so, so well for me and it reaffirmed my choice of wanting to be a school counselor. Although the kids were all memorable, the thing that keeps running through my mind is woman in the media. This has also been the theme of the last week in my counseling classes. We even had a specialist come to one class who talked to our class about the hidden messages in the media regarding race and women. One of the main themes that seems to keep repeating itself is that there are no Disney movies where the woman is saving the man. The woman are all waiting bated breath to be saved by some guy they barely know. So, with that said, I am trying to coax my very creative, cartoon/computer graphics whiz sister of mine to write and create a new feminist Disney movie. We'll see.
• I was listening to Michelle Obama on the radio on the way into work today and learned: Obama's favorite snack is nuts (almonds, pistachios, etc) and bottled tea. The girls' second favorite holiday is Halloween. This is hard hitting news here. I am so glad I was almost late to work to tune in. LOL No, one thing that was interesting was that Obama has never missed a parent teacher conference for his kids. Pretty cool.
  
• Class night was very interesting for a couple of reasons: One, we were talkign about ethics in regards to new technology, such as MySpace, Facebook, etc and being able to view client information on these site or seeing this information by accident and whether or not clients can find our information on these site. Mostly though, this reminded me of the latest fad of teens sending uh, inappropriate pictures of themselves via text message to friends and how police in a couple states have tried prosecuting some of these individuals for sending child photography. These are the kinds of things we as a society are dealing with these days (yuck). I think the police are trying make an example out of these individuals, but I really feel that people need to understand that once you send this stuff into cyberspace, you can't retract it and you don't know who will view it. This may inadvertently be sent to some sicko out there, not just some buddy who will take it as a joke. In one of these examples, the text was sent to the football team. : ( Yikes. Article1 Article2
  
• We also talked about out "Creative counseling kits," which is a kit of props that makes me feel like a counseling version of Carrot Top. I wont go into my entire kit here, which includes a Newton's Cradle, silly putty, magnifying glasses and more! I did want to mention the example my teacher gave where she took a dollar bill and asked the girl "How much is this worth?" The girl said "A dollar," then the teacher crumpled and stomped on the dollar and then asked again how much it was worth. The girl again said a dollar. So the point is that no matter what you have been through - shredded, abused, hitting rock bottom - your value remains the same. Interesting! ;)
  
• I also learned a new word today. Well, I have heard the word of course, but I actually took the time to look it up since it has been used so frequently lately with all the election talk - Juggernaut: A relentless force.

More political garbage...

Okay, so I am sure a ton of people watched the last debate featuring "Joe the Plumber" and an antsy and somewhat crazy looking McCain. With all other issues aside, I have to say the one thing that is driving me nuts about the McCain campaign (well, okay, there is a lot actually) is his catastrophically weak health care proposal. Forgive the ranting I am about to do, but...

Recently I received a five page Word doc. in an anti-Obama e-mail from a McCain supporter that discussed the grandeur of McCain's so called fantastic plan. Here's the thing: From what I understand, McCain is offering $2,500 for each person, $5,000 for each family. In addition to this, he plans to tax employers on insurance for the first time ever. Now, the average amount paid out for health insurance by a family with employer based health insurance is roughly $12,000 and $4,400 for each individual (Health Insurance Costs, 2008). Keep in mind, this is employer based health insurance. The $12,000 and $4,400 is the employee's share. So, employers (who generally receive a better deal on insurance costs because they are part of a larger group) still pay out a lot more money in addition to the $5,000 for a family, or $2,500 for an individual. My employer pays out around $16,000 per family.

John McCain keeps using that $5,000 number, but it's dishonest in a way. Realistically it is $2,500 per person when an employer is paying the rest, so it's just not right to use that number in conjunction with the other, lesser figure of $4,000 for explaining the average cost of insurance. In other words, he is choosing the higher figure (a $5,000 credit) when it makes him look good and the lower (a $4,000 cost of insurance) when it makes him look good. Realistically it looks more like this: He will give you $2,500 per person and the average cost for a person to pay for insurance, under an employer's group discount, is $4,400. Even that amount is deficient of the real price and who pays for that? Additionally, one must also consider the fact that this is only for employer based insurance where my employer pays roughly $16,000 in addition to the $4,000- 5,000 I give them. What about people without employer based insurance? What good will $2,500 do for them?

Furthermore, the tax for employers will cause employers to charge those of us who are offered employer coverage more for our insurance to cover the tax - from what I understand. Other employers may decide they are unable to offer insurance with the additional taxes. I guess I at least owe McCain my gratitude for making me appreciate how lucky I am to have what I have after doing this recent homework on the issue.

Health Insurance Costs. (2008). National Coalition on Health Care. Retrieved October 15, from http://www.nchc.org/facts/cost.shtml.

Can We Get Over Ourselves?

News article regarding racist's plot against Obama

Okay, so I am getting pretty fed up with the ignorance still so prevalent in the world today and I can't seem to get it off of my mind, and why should I? There are large groups of people who can't simply choose to forget, so why should I be able to just set it all aside? I was at a dinner a few months ago when I actually heard someone talking about Obama by saying that he wasn't going to vote for a "N..." I imagine people wont have trouble filling in the blank there. I also just received forwarded spam mail from someone saying that we should "vote for a person with a nice Irish M-C name and a hot wife, rather than a Muslim terrorist." There have been death threats, talks of KKK rallies, and other ridiculous things on the news as well. I also had someone tell me that they had a conversation where the person told them if they met Obama they wouldn't shake his hand. Really? A person who is a Harvard graduate who is most definitely smarter than most of the people I know and this person doesn't feel he has proven himself enough to shake a hand of a white person? Ughhh... It's skin pigment and I just don't get the point of this vacuous garbage that seems to be a black hole in the logic of normally coherent people, as well as some less than coherent people. All of this, beyond the issues of politics, has shed some pretty serious light on human behavior and the stunning lack of progress we have made in terms of discrimination. I am honestly baffled and fully exasperated by the racism that continues in the world, despite the fact that we have long since passed the days of the Civil War and the work Abraham Lincoln and others started to do.

So, once again I was listening to the This American Life podcast this week and was inspired by the messages, which were somewhat neutral, showing both sides of Democratic and Republican supporters. I think what is most fantastic about this podcast was the truly realistic view they give regarding the racism the Obama supporters experience. It's maddening and sad, and I know what that sadness feels like from having personally gone door to door for Obama, knowing that racism is still an excuse people use for not voting for Barack. Having grown up in a household where I cannot remember race ever being an issue, I have been enlightened during this campaign. I have had my eyes opened to the amount of racism that surrounds me each day, that I was barely aware of before. Who knew? I certainly didn't and I am really sad about it.

Anyway, I wish I could play this podcast for the world because I think a lot comes from just hearing the student who plays a video on his cell of Obama turning into a monkey which makes the Obama supporter pretty upset. Or from the union member who is an Obama supporter that brings up a really good point: If people are religious, how can they be racist? If Jesus was alive, would he care about the color of people's skin? Especially considering what part of the world Jesus was from. People tend to build their reasoning around what is most convenient to their beliefs and apparently it's convenient to judge people rather than looking inward. Anyway, I am truly saddened by this...so I am here to say "Enough already, let's move on please." I don't know who said this, I think it was Mahatma Gandhi, but "We need to be the change we want to see in the world."

This American Life Podcast

I can clone myself and it will only cost $60,000! ;)

You know, nothing says Merry Christmas to a kid like "Here's a $1,500 teddy bear that's really too expensive to play with." Well, unless you are Brad and Angelina I guess (which by the way is another story) - where $1,500 teddy bears are probably considered substandard. Anyway... this year's Neiman Marcus Christmas catalog has everybody talking (and by everybody I mean the morning radio show I listen to. LOL). The catalog is loaded with insanely expensive and uniquely original items for the people you love the most...and you would have to love them considering the amount of money you would be spending on them. For example, did you know you could purchase your "sweetie" a 16th century gemstone ring for the low, low price of $45,000. Not a bad price really, considering they say to spend at least a the amount you would spend on a brand new Volvo for your engagement ring. What? No one says that? Hmmm... Okay then, how about $7,000 cuff links?

My husband would especially enjoy a Jack Nicklaus designed three-hole golf course in our backyard for only $1,000,000. Actually that seems pretty cheap too. I mean, for Jack to spend his time and effort, and such, assuming you have a backyard big enough for three holes. Mine would be more like a Jack Nicklaus designed mini-golf course and I am guessing Jack doesn't specialize in wind mills and clown mouth themes for his courses.

How about having yourself designed out of Lego's for your mom this year? That way she will always have you nearby. It's only $60,000! In all fairness, we did visit Legoland in San Diego and we did have a lot of fun taking our pictures with the fake families and Darth Vader made out of Lego's. So, it may be even more exciting to prop your Lego-self up at parties so people can admire your creepy likeness while you cater to other guests. Although, with me, they might think the Lego version of me is more exciting and I would get jealous. Kidding... sort of. I have also decided that I so need a special skill such as this one and realize I should have spent more time playing with Lego's when I was a kid. I mean, I could learn to build people out of Lego's and then just charge people $30,000 a piece, which would seem like they were getting a bargain!

Anyway, the point is that it is fun to dream...so take a look if you dare (and if you aren't typically catapulted into depression by these sorts of things). It's actually really pretty cool to browse the catalog and to see how the other side lives!

Click here to view Neiman Marcus Christmas catalog

Whatever it takes, and then some...

I recently wrote a report for school about a passion of mine- it was in regard to systemic change and educational reform where I talked about the Harlem Children's Zone (HCZ) created by Geoffrey Canada. Essentially, Geoffrey Canada discovered the vast differences in the way middle and upper class people raise their children versus the lower income families, so he wanted to create a way to bridge the gap between the success of the more affluent families and the ones in the HCZ. The HCZ is in an area in Harlem where violence statistics are abnormally high in comparison with other areas in the country and where incomes are low and dropout rates are high.

The program, which starts from birth and continues throughout the child's life, offers the community an alternative that will allow the children to succeed. The program teaches parents of lower income communities not to physically discipline their children, but to read, play, and sing to their children because they have discovered that these skills will help children throughout their lives. They also offer tutoring programs, charter schools, and more. Since the program was put into place, the area where the HCZ is has seen a decline in violence, as well as an enormous increase in the educational statistics. I could go on and on about the success stories because they are incredible, but instead, Paul Tough wrote a book about the program called "Whatever it Takes." The book is okay, but I really feel his piece on the podcast on thislife.org sums up the program in a more simplified and inspiring way.

The statistics in both resources are astounding because they discuss the success rate of the program and the amazing decrease in violence. Paul Tough even talks about the amount of children's funerals Geoffrey Canada used to attend back when he first started the program since the life expectancy in the HCZ used to be worse than in Bangladesh. The Kansas City studies done on professional families versus welfare families and the language differences between the families is the most amazing part in my opinion. The amounts of disparaging and encouraging remarks given to children of welfare families versus those in professional families in the study was dumbfounding. The professional families said more words to their children than the welfare family, as well as more encouraging remarks. Who knew?

This has been on my mind for awhile because it is a huge passion of mine. I would love to be able to start a standardized program like the HCZ in every community that starts at an early age and continues through the high school/college level. We need more programs that encourage people to raise their children in an educationally enriched environment and that offer people the same information and education offered to the middle and upper class. The problem is that there are not enough spaces in the HCZ program for everyone who wants to join, so they have to do a lottery to see who will be allowed in. So we can see people are looking for help, but are not offered help in the same way that is readily available to anyone who wants it in other areas of the country. For example, I just saw a flyer at my daughter's doctor's office for parenting classes for $10, which are being offered by the office's youth counselor. Just the fact that my daughter's doctor's office has it's own mental health counselor and a dietitian says a lot I think. Anyway, I found this to be very interesting stuff, I just wish I could think of a way to implement this type of program in my area. This is the very reason why I want to be a school counselor - to be able to help with things like this.

On a little side note: My husband and I went by a playhouse that was for sale near us, but there was not price, so we left a message for the seller just to see. It turns out it was $5,000! It was built by a custom home designer and has a kitchen, a satellite hook-up, a television, and more. Obviously we are not going to buy this for our daughter, as cool as it would be (and it would make a nice "guest house" for my mother when she comes to visit LOL), but we can see from this example how diverse our economy is and how this diversity filters down to our children at an early age.

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Also, I saw this article today as well: Biden Visits Colorado
The article is not the issue, especially since it is supposed to be abut Biden but is more about McCain supporters. My issue was more about the comment given by a McCain supporter that talks about how spreading the wealth is not good for America. Really? I would imagine that there are a lot of people losing homes or people who can't afford the same opportunities for their children that wealthy people can who would probably beg to differ. It's disappointing that people don't care about their fellow human beings and their financial status, when in reality when you are a part of a system, every person's issues and concerns eventually impact the other people in the system. In a recession, an employee of Best Buy may not be able to afford his mortgage, while at the same time, other people who can't afford their mortgages can't afford to purchase things from Best Buy. If people don't buy things from Best Buy, the owner suffers, which causes the whole business to suffer- causing layoffs and even more economical hardship - and that's just one example!


References - More fancy college stuff! ;)

Tough, P. (Speaker). (2008a, September 26). 364: Going big [Audio]. This American Life
podcast. Retrieved September 30, 2008, from
http://thislife.org/Radio_Episode.aspx?episode=364

Tough, P. (2008b). Whatever it takes. New York, NY: Houghton Mifflin Company.

Blah, Blah, Blah

Okay, so this was supposed to be a relatively relaxing weekend, but it wound up just being stressful. Besides reading chapters in my boring text books, we went to dinner and the Battle of the Haunted Houses on Friday, which it turns out isn't much of a battle. One was basically us walking through some neon hallways with people following us. Scary. The other was the usual walk through a hearse; although there were some scary moments, so my vote went to that one for sure (I mean, if we were actually keeping track somehow). We then went to an ice rink where we proceeded to get thrown out of a college hockey game (long story and it's not as bad as it sounds - LOL). If you knew my husband you would know how mundane that sentence really is in our household. In fact, you can't ever say "Hey, remember the time you got kicked out of ___" because that's almost like saying, "Hey, remember the time you ate cereal for breakfast?"

I remember one time him and his friend took me four wheeling in the mountains and we were literally driving through a forest without a road when we came upon signs saying "Keep out," but these two had to keep going. It was like in the cartoons where the signs get progressively worse too, like "No really, keep out" and "No, we mean it," but did they?? No... well, eventually they did when I convinced them that it might be the home of a crazy militia mountain man who really isn't full of humor when it comes to trespassers.

The next day was spent at the pool, with a nice side trip to this lagoon I had never been to. We discovered it while we were visiting the Obama headquarters to sign up to volunteer. I also had the most interesting conversation with an elderly gentleman, which restored my faith in humanity and the overall intelligence of humans. We were walking to our car (which has a nicely placed Obama sticker on it) and he said "I thought only old guys like myself liked Obama." That's kind of funny in itself since I thought only older people liked McCain... I mean, not all older people like McCain, but only older people like him. It turns out you really can't generalize either way. Okay, I should interject something here since my inner psychologist is telling me to - I am aware that I probably should not generalize at all, but hey, I am human! Plus I just don't care. ;) Anyway, my sis said she was at a party this weekend and the moms were saying something about how they should tax only people making under $150,000 (at least this is how I understood it). See, now these people thought Obama was an elitist and I just think that is very "mean Bingley sisters from the Pride and Prejudice-ish" (I know, that reference may be lost on anyone but me). So, anyway, the elderly gentleman and I had a nice conversation about population growth, parks, good Mexican restaurants nearby (since him and his wife we disputing this topic somehow), and then we parted ways. He was very nice, which we need more of in this world. In fact, my pastor was just talking about that very thing, and even played a clip from Pay It Forward. We really should do that- Be nice to at least three people and ask them to do the same. Imagine...

We finished the day by going to a farm/restaurant, complete with indoor slides, horse rides, country bands singing Johnny Cash songs (I wont hold it against them), and of course the most fantastic fried chicken! ;) That was just Friday and Saturday! Today was equally hectic it seemed.

Okay, there's my "dear diary" entry just to clear my mind of trivial thoughts for today. Although, as a total contradiction to myself, I should say that I taped and watched the Palin performance on SNL and it was pretty funny; although most of the credit for that went to the Weekend News Update people, but it was actually pretty good!

Hard Knox

There's something about the idea of telling the stories of the people who do not usually find themselves in the spotlight that appeals to me. In high school a friend and I would often find ourselves talking to random strangers on the streets in the U-district in Seattle and while, looking back, this seems like a bad idea, everyone always had such an interesting story to tell. I also loved talking with the kids at the residential treatment centers where I completed my internships. They were so full of life despite their current situations. I could go on and on (as usual) about how I would love for my work's website to have a special feature on each employee telling us the things that most people never get to hear until, sadly, we hear them too late. Anyway, the point is: People are so fascinating!

So recently, when I heard the most fantastic music from the Choir of Hard Knox, I was so excited by the concept and story behind the choir. The Choir or Hard Knox is an Australian choir devised of numerous personalities who are generally considered to be "disadvantaged" or "less fortunate" compared to one's typical idea of a choir. I was so impressed by Jonathan Welch's ability to compose such a beautiful sound from a group of people maybe who don't really "fit the mold" so-to-speak, or read music even. It's a great concept of taking real people and showing that beautiful things can come from anywhere, not simply well-polished performing arts graduates, which of course Jonathan himself seems to be - but I won't hold it against him! ;) Anyway, I had to dedicate at least some of my daily ramblings and thoughts to such a great story.

Story behind the choir

Homesick

Recently I got a Facebook message from a friend in Seattle telling me that one of our best friends was going to be back in the Seattle area for a visit, but I am not there sadly. She ended the message with something like "Jealous much?" or something similarly malicious ; ) (It's funny if you know this friend's sarcastic wit - it works for her). Coming from me it just sounds mean. Anyway, so I told her that I hope they have fun and to "Play a song at Beth's for me." This reminded me of all the things I wish I could have them do for me, since I can't be there myself. This also made me realize how many other cities out there have similar lists of things people reminisce over, such as the clam chowder bowls in San Francisco, Filippi's in San Diego, the sea lions in Newport, OR...okay, you get the gist (that's just the west coast!).
So anyway, just for fun, here is my "to-do" list, Washington version:

• Play a song at Beth's
• Take a hike to Lake 22
• Take a ride to Friday Harbor
• Bike to Lime Kiln Point to whale watch
• Visit the Sylvia the mummy at Ye Olde Curiosity Shop
• Have some clam chowder at Ivar's
• Visit the troll (no, this is not a person - ha ha)
• Have a sunset picnic at Gasworks
• Drive through Raymond to Long Beach
• Go to Hurricane Ridge (one of the most beautiful places on earth)
• Hug a bear at Leavenworth
• Watch a fish being thrown at Pike Place Market and buy some flowers there
• Take a picture with a pig
• Go to Post Alley for Theater Sports
• Sit at a cafe in Port Townsend
• See a concert (most definitely not a country one)
• Go to see the Pacific Northwest Ballet (they are incredible)
• Find a reason to visit the Paramount
• Smell a tulip
• Take a canoe ride at the arboretum/UW
• Lay in the grass and watch the hot air balloons at St Michelle's Winery
• Eat a slice of Pagliacci's (Cheese folded in half)
• Go underground (because I think the guides are funny)
• People watch at Bumbershoot

Okay, I know I am missing something, but that should be good for now. ;)
Just for fun: Funny sign at the Olde Curiosity Shop

Stopping time?

Okay, when I am really exhausted my mind wanders even more. Like when I was laying awake at 4 AM (now) thinking about how I am getting very little sleep and will get less today with school and work. So I was thinking of an old Twilight Zone episode (at least I think this was Twilight Zone, I was like 9 at the time) where the person had a stopwatch that could stop time. The stopwatch broke I believe, which was the creepy part of the episode (since there was always a creepy part), but I was thinking how cool it would be to have one of those watches and wondered what I would use it for if I could only choose one thing. Sleep? Play time with my daughter? Reading my insane amount of books on the theory and practice of psychology/counseling? I do not do well without sleep, but then I might not be able to sleep anyway because I would constantly be worrying if I would misplace or break the dang stopwatch. I couldn't really play with my daughter because she would be stopped too I think. See, I guess it is good I don't actually have one of these things! Maybe I would travel the world...

Wondering

I'll make this short because I am supposed to be writing a paper, but I am finding myself distracted by my thoughts and since the whole point of this blog is to clear my mind of incidental thoughts, here goes:

So I was getting in my car today after work and was heading over to pick my daughter up for her doctor's appointment. Something inside of me just felt this gut-wrenching feeling of sadness because I can't be with her during the day like some moms can and my very first thought was "Gosh, I hope she had a good day." Today was the first day of her being "Marvelous me," which is a role designated to them by the teacher for the week. She gets to be the "feature" child for the whole week and gets to be the teacher's helper, etc. We even brought in fun pictures of her and her family, like the one of her fighting Darth Vader. So, it turns out her day was great until we went to see the doctor and she had to get her shots. She was a fantastic sport and as usual didn't make a peep. That is something interesting about my daughter, by the way: She has never shed a tear when getting a shot, not even as a baby! Strange little girl! ;) The nurse even lectured me about it. I said "Wow, you didn't even cry!" Then she proceeded to scold me by saying "She should be able to cry if she wants to." As though I somehow forced her not to? Huh? Can you even do that because I would like to figure out how to make a kid not cry. That would make life a lot easier! Plus I would be a hit at malls, on airplanes, at doctor's offices, and other places where kids tend to scream.

Anyway, so here is my thought (I know, I know... way to get straight to the point, huh?): I was thinking about how every single day my heart aches to see my daughter and I think about what kind of day she is having every day as well, but did my parents ever feel this way? Did they even care where we were or what we are doing? Is is just me that thinks this way or is it just this generation of parents? You know, the generation that uses car seats, doesn't feed your child eggs before he or she turns one, and puts locks on all of the cabinets. Did any of our parents ever feel this way? I am fairly certain my parents didn't and my husband, well, I doubt that either. Nothing against them or anything, but I think it was just a different time in life. Perhaps I worry more because I have more to worry about - 9/11, tornadoes (I didn't grow up around them), sexual predators (now that we have websites that tell us exactly how many there are and where they live), lead toys, etc. Hmmm... I wonder...

Ulterior Motives

This week in class we are discussing Transactional Analysis (TA). TA has been around for awhile and in fact, I am learning how a lot of things that we do and say in society are derived from this theory - like the term "warm fuzzies" was in a book I picked up on the topic this week. My mom used to always use this term when I was younger. This is strange really because if you knew her, this doesn't really fit into her typical persona. By the way, saying "warm fuzzies" is not an adequate way to actually give someone warm fuzzies, but enough of my personal issues... Let's move on... So anyway...TA is very interesting, but I wont bore anyone with the mundane details (well, in this blog anyway... well, not on purpose anyway LOL).

Essentially what is important to understand about TA is that we each have three parts: Our Adult, the parent, and the child lurking inside of us and the communication (transactions) we have with others stems from one of these three parts. We can also have "ulterior" transactions, in which we are acting a specific way, but in reality what we are saying to someone really has a different meaning. For example, if I say to my coworker who always talks about how great her life is "You just seem to have the most perfect life," but in reality what I am saying is "Sheesh! I get it already! You are the most perfect person who ever walked on the earth. Can we move on now?" This would be me exhibiting an ulterior transaction.

Well this week I had an epiphany: I know this person who is always saying these negative things to me. Like when I was holding a bunch of stuff and trying to get out of my car, they said "Can't get out of your car anymore, huh?" or "Do you always eat that much?" Okay, I don't think I am overweight at all. I know I am not the skinny little thing I was in high school, but then in high school people actually used to point at me and call me anorexic. So maybe that is a good thing! Anyway, this week it occurred to me that this person has an ulterior motive of cutting down my self-esteem to feel empowered. So this person feels by making me insecure about my weight I will feel like less of a person. At first I was thinking I was being a conspiracy theorist, but I really think I am not imagining this; yet, an additional aspect of ulterior transactions is that people may not even realize they are doing this. It's like a game they learned to feel better about their own self. This person is someone who always has to cut me down about any or everything and even when I am right this person still argues just to make me feel inferior. I used to be baited by this, but I caught on a long time ago and stopped falling for it or as my professor would say I "intercepted the pass the quarterback was throwing."

So, that is what I learned this week in my overwhelming endeavor to improve my mind! ;) Maybe it is working after all! After all, I did actually learn something this week instead of my usual exhaustion and frustration! Yay!
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Oh! Additionally, we learned about the Karpman drama triangle in which my professor actually showed a clip of the Wonder Years to hammer home the concept. See, grad school isn't all grueling punishment! ;) We also learned how the war, the U.S. and George Bush are all living within the triangle. http://www.ta-psychotherapy.co.uk/games.htm

Hiccup Party Trick

I have this cool trick I learned from my buddy "J" and I thought I would share it because it is just too cool. ;)

So "J" learned this great trick using a dollar bill to get rid of hiccups. She learned it in a class for her graduate degree in Psychology, so I think that gave her more credibility for me to believe her. LOL. Anyway, you take a dollar bill and say to the person "See this dollar bill, with all of the writing, the president in the middle, the fibers, blah, blah, blah..." (Not sure exactly what she told me, so wing it). Then, after the person says "Yeah, uh huh" (and looks at you like you are either mad or boring them immensely) you say "I'll give it to you if you hiccup again" (Notice you say if you "do" hiccup again). Then the person stops hiccuping. Yes, I know, I thought she was insane too, but the other day when my husband had the hiccups I tried it. He thought I was insane, but it worked! I only had a $10 bill, so I used that instead of a $1 and he told me "I just wanted your money so dang bad, but couldn't make myself do it!" Personally I think he wanted it so that I he could prove me wrong and take my money because that's just how he is, but ha! I still have it! Jokes on him! Okay, there's my tip of the day! ;)